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Keckler: C | Grade It Now!
Night of the Living Dread

Captain's Private Dining Room. Trip gnaws on a bread roll and winces, saying, "I thought Cajun food was hot." Quantum nonchalantly takes a mouthful of food and Dramatically Pauses. T'Pol watches him placidly. He swigs some iced tea and says, "D'Marr?" The bluish-whitish alien at the table looks up. "What did you call that spice?" Quantum asks. "Hajjlaran. The warlords on Preenos use it to test their courage," D'Marr tells him, and asks T'Pol if she's sure she doesn't want to try it. T'Pol tells him her courage isn't in need of testing. "I have other items to trade. I can get you some Triaxian silk for, say, another protein resequencer?" D'Marr asks, looking at Trip and Quantum. "I'd bet you'd look good in Triaxian silk," Trip comments suggestively to T'Pol. Now, we just had a mandatory "Good Touch, Bad Touch" seminar at my work in the AOL coal mines, and I'm pretty sure that comment might fall in the "bad touch" region. T'Pol glares at him slightly, and I can't say that I blame her. If my managing editor, Itchy McNastyFace, said that to me during a production meeting, I'd be pretty pissed as well. Probably vomit on his attempting-to-be-New-York-hip shoes as well. Quantum ignores Trip's loutish behavior and tells their alien trader that they are really in need of engineering supplies. Trip corroborates his captain's statement by listing a few items on the technobabble shopping list. D'Marr tells them he can't help, as he "prefer[s] to deal in more exotic goods." The alien trader goes on to tell them about a small system a two days' journey from their present course, indicating that they might find what they need there. T'Pol says they weren't aware of any inhabited planets in that direction. "It's not inhabited," D'Marr says, "Not exactly." Quantum's curious. D'Marr drinks from his coffee cup and says, "Mmm! This is excellent! What is it again?" Quantum tells him that it's coffee, and that their chef can wrap up a few kilos for him. "If you wouldn't mind telling us where we can find those supplies," Quantum says. It's just like the marketplace of Agrabah. "Captain, please, this isn't a matter of negotiation. I'm thinking of your safety," D'Marr tells him. Trip looks concerned, but Quantum continues to look indulgently amused. "Ten kilos?" Quantum offers. "It is pure luck that I even found it," D'Marr begins. "Found what?" Trip asks. "A ship. Crashed on one of the inner planets. There were no lifesigns aboard so I landed to claim my rights of salvage." D'Marr rolls his eyes as he says this -- almost self-deprecatingly. I only mention it because it was a nice sliver of acting by this character. Trip asks what he found, and D'Marr tells him he found a transport vessel, "largely intact. I could have stripped it bare and made a fortune." T'Pol asks why he didn't do just that. "The, uh, crew objected," D'Marr tells her. "You said there weren't any lifesigns aboard," Quantum points out. Do you have any lifesigns aboard, Quantum? "There weren't. There wasn't anything alive," D'Marr says, leaning forward. Trip looks at Quantum, snorts, and looks back at their guest to ask, "What are you saying -- that the ship was haunted?" D'Marr just stares at him.

A soundtrack for Enterprise is coming out soon. That just makes me so sad.

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