Observer Effect

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | Grade It Now!
It Takes A Lot to Laugh, It Takes A Trip to Die

Decon. Trip sort of likens their situation to The Andromeda Strain, but Hoshi shows such a lack of interest that he abandons doing anything other than dropping the name. He looks around at Decon and says it reminds him of his dorm at Starfleet Training. "Got into a lot of trouble at ol' STC," Trip says, looking down at his cot. I don't want to know. Hoshi one-ups him: "I got kicked out." Trip boggles at her. Hoshi gets up to get another blanket. Or something. It's not clear because she walks away, only to fidget a bit, then come back with the same blanket that she's trying hard to make sure is continually off one shoulder. "Well, you can't stop there!" Trip drawls in confusion. Hoshi says that in her second month, she had a difference of opinion with the company commander. Trip gazes at her as she fidgets some more. "I broke his arm!" Hoshi finally admits. "Can I ask why?" Trip asks. "Poker," Hoshi says. "You broke his arm playing cards?" Trip says dazedly. Hoshi explains that he tried to shut down a game she was running for recruits and training staff. "Hold on," Trip says, lying down, "you ran a floating poker game at STC?" Hold on, I need to lie down as well. Wasn't there some episode where Hoshi talked about what a perfect student she was? Didn't she say she never got sent to the principal's office? Okay, granted, maybe she was being rebellious at STC (whatever the hell that's supposed to be) but it's a major stretch that not even the most accomplished yogaist could accomplish without pulling major character tendons. Hoshi defends herself that the regulations made gambling dishonorable only if it was going on during duty hours, so she made sure the game was on weekends. "One night, my CC showed up and tried to sweep all the chips of the table and I -- well, I have a black belt in aikido," Hoshi says. "I think he was just upset that I hadn't invited him to play." So, what are they going to try next? Have her smoking a cigar? Not gonna happen, people. Not gonna happen.

Keckler: I can't believe that after four years of serving together and getting attacked, this is the first we're hearing of her black belt.
Evil Dr. Mathra: I can -- this show sucks.

Hoshi says she got a bad conduct discharge, but she ended up on Enterprise because Starfleet needed linguist specialists so badly, they didn't care that she assaulted a superior officer. It might be cool to think that underneath all that first-season squealing and screaming, Hoshi might have a unpredictable violent streak that might cause her to suddenly lash out at Quantum and toss him right on his furrows, sending him into a permanent vegetative state, but, well, there's all that first-season squealing and screaming. Again, I appreciate that they are trying to flesh out these characters and give them depth, but it's kind of stupid to make that fleshy depth incongruous to what we already know. It'd be like Trip suddenly announcing he's from Canada. Or finding out that Reed was a life coach before he joined up. Or that people can actually see Mayweather. Sigh. And you ask why I don't live here? Honey, I think you're really weird.

Sickbay. Phlox says they're dealing with a highly contagious silicon-based virus. This is a big deal because the planet they were exploring was Class-M and all signs of life should have been carbon-based. Smack! -- of course! I don't know. Whenever I hear that something is carbon-based, I think it's a bad thing until my husband reminds me that's what we are. I really shouldn't be recapping this show, should I? Phlox can't find anything similar to the E. Fauxli virus in the Denobulan database, but postulates that at the going rate, Hoshi and Trip will be dead in five hours. Quantum switches his Concerned Furrow with his Concerned and Now Predicting Grief Furrow. It didn't seem like much was happening, so I turned it off and went to grab another beer. Seems like every time you turn around there's another hard luck story that you're gonna hear.

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