Precious Cargo

Episode Report Card
Keckler: F | Grade It Now!
Kiss Me, Ingrate

Enterprise. Quantum has a dear diary moment on September 12, 2152 (odd day of the month to choose to have a specific entry, since he doesn't ordinarily give the date of his Live Journals), where he tells us that a Krios battle cruiser met up with them and took the two alien kidnappers into custody. Trip walks the halls with a Starfleet jumpsuited Pod White. "So, when do you ascend?" he asks. Graduation Day. "Two hundred and forty-six days," Pod White tells him. If she's wearing a regulation jumpsuit, why doesn't she have a regulation undershirt on as well? I don't think it's quite Starfleet regulation to show that much cleavage, or else T'Pol would be wearing one. Trip thinks he might be able to come visit her before she turns into a snake and eats the principal, but he also doubts her family would approve of him seeing her. "I DOUBT they WOULD. But ONCE I've been MADE first MON-arch, I'll have the authority to change the rules," Pod White says. "Yeah, that's what every First Monarch claims -- 'I'm going to go and shake things up!' -- but they all still end up drinking tea with their pinkies out," Mathra raves. Anyway, tea-drinking hang-ups aside, she actually delivered that last part of her line fairly normally -- what made her Princess Roboto for the rest of the episode? "What kinda changes?" Trip duhs. "Come visit me," Pod White says, leaning into his shoulder and offering him her ear. "Perhaps you'll find out."

Trip masterfully controls himself -- Quantum probably told him they'd have cameras on him in case he got the urge to herbal and disrobe again -- and they pull back from one another without really ever touching cheeks, lips, or anything. He opens the air lock door, and Pod White steps on, tossing him a coquettish look. That's another of Trip's sex-of-the-weeks we'll never see again -- thank god -- but he certainly makes lots of promises to keep in touch with lots of women. Maybe he's a good pen pal. "Dear [insert alien chick's name]: Last week, Quantum and I had dinner, Phlox got a new pet, T'Pol acted like a Vulcan, and Mayweather and I played hide-and-seek. He's thinks I'm still counting to infinity. Gee, I miss you. A guy can get kinda lonely out in space, but last night Malcolm let me try on his Under A Cherry Moon shade from MAC. I really liked it. XOXOXO/FTFF, Trip."

I can't believe Bermaga are giving me ANOTHER episode next week! Everyone else in her right mind has most of December off from their shows! I hate them. Alien Nazis take over the ship, and Quantum slurs that he'll destroy Enterprise. I wish I could believe it.

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