Precious Cargo

Episode Report Card
Keckler: F | Grade It Now!
Kiss Me, Ingrate

Alien Ship. Trip fiddles with stuff, and Pod White makes herself less than useful. She struts around, hands on hips, elbows flung widely akimbo. From our Trip vantage point on the ground, she looks really awkward. "You must be one helluva diplomat," Trip comments. "Is your ENTIRE species so ILL-mannered?" Pod White demands. "Nope, just me," Trip tells her. Pod White tosses her head and argues with Trip about his plan. The lack of sexual tension -- despite all their carping back and forth -- is as painful as watching her toss her head and roll her eyes with every line. She's so BAD! I mean, she is just such a terrible actress, I can't even do justice to her lousiness. After some stupid posturing on her side -- which makes Trinneer's posturing look amazing in comparison -- she finally decides to accompany Trip in the escape pod. Good thing. I was getting worried that he might have to leave her behind. Wouldn't that be a tragedy, though? Trip technobabbles that he's going to do something to the alien sensors so that he'll be long gone before they discover his absence. In the crawlspaces, Pod White complains and tells Trip her name is Kaitaama. They reach the end of the crawlspace; Trip gets out first, and after some hesitation, Pod White jumps into his arms. They share a moment of physical non-attraction, brought on by their faces being close to one another. Vomit.

After Trip opens the sh'pod door, Pod White complains it's only meant for one person. "We'll have to make do -- unless you know how to fly one of these things," Trip hints. For some reason, Pod White's dress hampers her entering the sh'pod in a way it didn't hamper her crawling though the ship's innards. She remedies this by tearing a length of it off, all around. She could have just torn two slits, in my opinion. "Yeah, who does she think she is? Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies?" Mathra wonders. Pod White slides in backwards, affording Trip a nice crotch shot, no doubt. Trip gets in after her. We get a view of the extremely tight quarters -- in such a space, one might accidentally have sex with someone just by turning your head -- and the sh'pod launches away from the alien mother ship. They have some initial turbulence, but then they reach their cruising altitude of x light-years and all levels off. Pod White demands to know what he proposes they do now. "To be honest, I haddint rilly thought about it," Trip says, picking up his UT. "I ASSUMED you had a PLAN!" Pod White whines. Trip tells her he was kidding: "They DO have a sense of humor where you come from?" "Among the commoners," Pod White tosses her head. Trip looks at her. "ON-ly JOK-ing," she tells him. Trip grunts and says that, sooner or later, the alien ship will notice that they're missing and come looking for them, so they need a place to hide. "WHERE?" Pod White asks. Trip knows of a little out-of-the-way system not too far from them. "WHAT makes you THINK any of those PLANETS are HAB-itable?" Pod White demands. Trip says there's only one way to find out, and asks "[Her] Sovereignty's" permission to set a course. Pod White curls her lip in distrust and says, "PRO-ceed."

Actually, you're all wrong -- I'm Emmitt Smith.

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