Enterprise

Ep.

Title

Air/Pub'l

Grade

Author

4-22
Recap

It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to YesterTrek

These Are The Voyages… - Some Treks go out with a bang. This one goes out with a whimper. From the fans.

05.12.2005
05.18.2005
D+

Keckler

4-21
Recap

Bye, Bye, Trekkie

Terra Prime (2) - Baby Tri'Pol dies; Quantum makes another self-indulgent speech.

05.12.2005
05.16.2005
A

Keckler

4-20
Recap

Moonfaker

Demons (1) - If you missed this episode, you missed the BEST of Enterprise that ever was. All I can say is: Trip and T'Pol have a baby and Mayweather has SEX! It was AWESOME!

05.05.2005
05.09.2005

Keckler

4-19
Recap

There Was an Evil Man Who Had An Evil Furrow

In a Mirror, Darkly, Part II - Evil Leaper gets another weird accent, goes on a power trip, makes some bad speeches, and dies. And there was much celebrating throughout the land.

04.28.2005
05.04.2005
A

Keckler

4-18
Recap

Best. Episode. Ever.

In a Mirror, Darkly, Part I - Enterprise got cancelled, and then they decided it was time to write good TV.

04.21.2005
04.25.2005
A+

Keckler

4-17
Recap

Girls Gone Green

Bound - Trip and T'Pol are soul mates! Soooooooooooul maaaaaaaaates!

04.14.2005
04.19.2005
C-

Keckler

4-16
Recap

The Search for Phlox

Divergence (2) - Quantum becomes a Klingon. And my brain doesn't explode, because I no longer have a brain.

02.24.2005
03.01.2005
D+

Keckler

4-15
Recap

Reed Cries When He Spies

Affliction (1) - Quantum "walks" T'Pol through a mind-meld. And then I knew no more.

02.17.2005
02.23.2005

Keckler

4-14
Recap

Say Goodnight, Shran

The Aenar (3) - After we meet and greet and defeat the Aenar, Trip hands in his notice and requests a transfer to a less-cancelled ship of the fleet.

02.10.2005
02.16.2005
C-

Keckler

4-13
Recap

I'm Sorry, Trip, I'm Afraid I Can't Do That

United (2) - Quantum plays the hero. Again. The only difference is, this time he's a cancelled hero.

02.03.2005
02.08.2005
C+

Keckler

4-12
Recap

Technobabel

Babel One (1) - The episode where Quantum puts assholishness to good use. For once.

01.27.2005
02.01.2005
B-

Keckler

4-11
Recap

It Takes A Lot to Laugh, It Takes A Trip to Die

Observer Effect - Two Organians, who have a long way to go learn that the errand of mercy is not strained, let Hoshi and Trip die all in the name of science.

01.20.2005
01.24.2005
B-

Keckler

4-10
Recap

Mehdalus

Daedalus - Dullest. Episode. Ever.

01.13.2005
01.17.2005
F

Keckler

4-9
Recap

Kir'Royala

Kir'Shara (3) - Quantum performs the VULCAN FUCKING NECK PINCH and my hate has no bounds.

12.02.2004
12.06.2004
B

Keckler

4-8
Recap

Welcome To Planet Crack Whore

Awakening (2) - Quantum still has SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA, and Keckler still hates him for it.

11.25.2004
11.30.2004
C-

Keckler

4-7
Recap

Enterprise IV: The Trip for T'Pol

The Forge (1) - If May-Tell-That-Girl-To-Shut-Up beats someone up for calling him "tiny," I'm leaving.

11.18.2004
11.22.2004
B

Keckler

4-6
Recap

Wrath Of Retcon

The Augments (3) - I feel ugly. Oh, so ugly. I feel ugly and frightful and vile! And I pity. Anyone who can't control their bile.

11.11.2004
11.15.2004
C+

Keckler

4-5
Recap

Flight of the Khannabees

Cold Station 12 (2) - More scheming. More evidence to the contrary that the Khannabees are at all superior, except in repulsiveness. More beer.

11.04.2004
11.09.2004
C-

Keckler

4-4
Recap

Boredomland

Borderland (1) - Boredomland, feels like I'm going to lose my mind. You just keep on pushing my snark over the boredomland.

10.28.2004
11.01.2004
C-

Keckler

4-3
Recap

Home on the Rage

Home - Oh, give me a home where the CRACK WHORES do roam, where the captain and the captain go get laid. Where seldom is heard an inspiring word but the suits on the lot still get paid. Home, home on the rage, where the fear and the anti-hope do roam.

10.21.2004
10.25.2004
B-

Keckler

4-2
Recap

Silik Stalkings

Storm Front, Part II - The only good Nazis are dead Nazis, so Quantum kills them.

10.14.2004
10.18.2004
F

Keckler

4-1
Recap

Ding Dong, Daniels is Dead!

Storm Front, Part I - Nazis are evil, y'all.

10.07.2004
10.13.2004
C-

Keckler

3-24
Recap

Breaking the Furrow

Zero Hour - Quantum saves the world. A lot.

05.25.2004
05.31.2004
A

Keckler

3-23
Recap

Hoshi Crack Code and I Sorta Care

Countdown - Hoshi is tortured, and her friends eat steak.

05.18.2004
05.24.2004
B-

Keckler

3-22
Recap

In Sonar, No One Can Hear You. Period.

The Council - Quantum testifies before the Xindi of the Round Table that he did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky; he doesn't know where the WMD are; and he doesn't remember funneling money to the Contras. Oh, and that Sphere Builders are bad.

05.11.2004
05.14.2004
B

Keckler

3-21
Recap

Back to the Furrow

E2 - The current Enterprise meets their fourth cousins twice removed.

05.04.2004
05.10.2004
C-

Keckler

3-20
Recap

Degra Dearest

The Forgotten - Degra proves to be an Enterprise ally. The crew celebrates by rolling in dirt.

04.27.2004
05.03.2004
B-

Sara M

3-19
Recap

Jane's Addiction

Damage - Quantum swabs decks, administers rum, and becomes a pirate. The eye patch is on backorder, along with T'Pol's next hit of Trellium-D.

04.20.2004
04.23.2004
B

Keckler

3-18
Recap

Imzadi Prime

Azati Prime - Quantum sacrifices himself for the good of humanity, and then manages to screw humanity.

03.02.2004
03.07.2004
B-

Keckler

3-17
Recap

Buggy Dearest

Hatchery - Quantum adopts some bugs at the local ASPCEgg.

02.24.2004
02.27.2004
B

Keckler

3-16
Recap

Phlox's Runaway Imagination

Doctor's Orders - Phlox puts the crew in comas and invents himself an imaginary friend.

02.17.2004
02.20.2004
B+

Keckler

3-15
Recap

A Sexperiment in Criticism

Harbinger - Trip and T'Pol do the nasty.

02.10.2004
02.13.2004
B-

Keckler

3-14
Recap

Flight Of The Simulator

Stratagem - Quantum and a Xindi hole up in a space bunker and resist braiding each other's dreds.

02.03.2004
02.08.2004
B+

Keckler

3-13
Recap

Blue Swayed Crews

Proving Ground - Quantum renews his relationship with Excedrin P.M. who does so well he gets a new moniker!

01.20.2004
01.25.2004
B

Keckler

3-12
Recap

Let That Be Your Last Bakulafield

Chosen Realm - Quantum brings some religious freaks aboard, and they start blowing themselves up until he agrees to kill himself.

01.13.2004
01.16.2004
B-

Keckler

3-11
Recap

Carpenter Street

Carpenter Street - Quantum and T'Pol take on Detroit.

11.25.2003
11.30.2003
B

Keckler

3-10
Recap

Trip's Brain

Similitude - Trip is cloned and, oddly, has better luck with the ladies. But then he dies, so it all evens out.

11.18.2003
11.22.2003
B-

Keckler

3-9
Recap

Blazing Furrows

North Star - Quantum has his Qrew circle their furrows as he saves an entire town from an asshat and has a profound effect on their future evolution.

11.11.2003
11.15.2003
B-

Keckler

3-8
Recap

Twilight in the Garden of Good and Better

Twilight - Mr. Mike Sussman -- with the aid of Tom Paris directing and Scott Bakula acting (finally!) -- gives us an episode that knocks every other episode out of the Rose Bowl. And yes, messages for the Horseman of the Apocalypse can be left at my apartment.

11.04.2003
11.06.2003
A+

Keckler

3-7
Recap

A Horse! A Horse! My Boredom For A Horse!

The Shipment - Quantum goes to a planet to learn more about the Xindi weapon. If that doesn't get across sufficiently how ass-crackingly boring this episode was, be happy you missed it.

10.28.2003
11.01.2003

Keckler

3-7
Recap

All Work And No Play Makes Keckler A Dull Girl

All Work And No Play Makes Keckler A Dull Girl - All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl.

10.31.2003
10.31.2003

Keckler

3-6
Recap

Hoshi and the Beast

Exile - In a tale as dull as mime, Hoshi plays Beauty to a telepathic Beast who has designs on her for the rest of her life.

10.14.2003
10.16.2003
D+

Keckler

3-5
Recap

The Vulcansnatchers

Impulse - T'Pol finds her personal kryptonite, and it brings out a rash.

10.07.2003
10.12.2003
B+

Keckler

3-4
Recap

A hand, a scan, a canal, Panama!

Rajiin - Quantum adopts a stray sex slave who gives new meaning to the expression "the laying on of hands."

09.30.2003
10.03.2003
C-

Keckler

3-3
Recap

Unfrozen Caveman Captain

Extinction - This is the one where we discover that the only way to get Bakula to stop furrowing is to slap some latex on him.

09.23.2003
09.29.2003
C-

Keckler

3-2
Recap

The Pirates of the Implants

Anomaly - Quantum is very, very angry. Some alien pirates steal stuff off of the ship. Quantum is very, very angry. They get their stuff back from the pirates. Quantum is very, very angry. They come upon some Xindian information. Quantum is very, very angry.

09.16.2003
09.20.2003
B-

Keckler

3-1
Recap

Xinderella

The Xindi - While Quantum and Reed deal with Pat the Androgynous Alien and his finger fetish, T'Pol and Trip rub nodes for mutual gratification.

09.09.2003
09.13.2003
B-

Keckler

2-26
Recap

Starfleet and Coffee, Maple Syrup and Damn

The Expanse - In an anvil ripped from the headlines, Earth has a pre-emptive strike launched against it by some alien species with a Middle-Eastern-sounding name.

05.20.2003
05.25.2003
B-

Keckler

2-25
Recap

Booty

Bounty - T'Pol gets false sex pains while locked in a small room with Phlox, and Quantum is featured on Kronos' Most Wanted.

05.13.2003
05.16.2003
F

Keckler

2-24
Recap

Fist Fight

First Flight - Quantum relives his glory days of bar fights, making off with government property, and meeting Trip for the first time.

05.13.2003
05.15.2003
D+

Keckler

2-23
Recap

The Importance of Being Earnest Borgnine

Regeneration - Quantum and Qrew encounter the Borg. Trekkies everywhere weep at the death of continuity.

05.06.2003
05.08.2003
B-

Keckler

2-22
Recap

A Slave's Narrative

Cogenitor - Trip meddles with the reproductive practices of a tri-gendered species.

04.29.2003
05.02.2003
A

Keckler

2-21
Recap

Crazy Like A Phlox

The Breach - Phlox rocks. Trip, Reed, and May-Chanko-Nabe Treklunk on the cave set. T'Pol needs cucumbers, and Quantum is a dick. Again.

04.22.2003
04.24.2003
A

Keckler

2-20
Recap

Home Is Where the Snark Is

Horizon - A Very Special Episode, May-Punk returns to the familial fold, but is dismayed not to find a Nutri-Pak lamb roasting on a spit for him.

04.15.2003
04.18.2003
B

Keckler

2-19
Recap

Manura Penthe

Judgment - Imagine rediscovering Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country and finding that it had been replaced by a soul-sucking Bermaga-magicked episode. Now, get drunk. Yes, that's about where I am as well.

04.08.2003
04.10.2003
D+

Keckler

2-18
Recap

Crossing Over and Out

The Crossing - Wisps of vapor, or blobs of light, enter and re-enter Tucker, Reed, and other crew members. This pisses off Captain Quantum. Again. Some more.

04.01.2003
04.02.2003
C-

Alex Richmond

2-17
Recap

Mallomar

Canamar - The action was soft and marshmallowy, and the plot was like the chocolate I once left it in the cupboard above the stove and forgot about it until it turned chalky white around the edges. I got a craving and had nothing better around, so I ate it. It left a really bad taste in my mouth.

02.26.2003
03.01.2003
C-

Keckler

2-16
Recap

Future Nonsense

Future Tense - The crew finds a mysterious pod with a John Doe cross-breed inside and start speculating all over the place. Two sets of aliens show up to lay claim to the pod, and get violently shirty when they meet Quantum's forbidding furrow. T'Pol considers cross-breeding.

02.18.2003
02.21.2003
C+

Keckler

2-15
Recap

Grease Fire

Cease Fire - The Andorians are back to butt heads with the Vulcans. That Quantum is called in to referee all the head-butting serves only to complete my boredom.

02.11.2003
02.15.2003
C-

Keckler

2-14
Recap

Melded Cheese on Melda Toast

Stigma - That cute little intrusion B'Stiller forced on T'Pol seems to have had deleterious effects. And Excedrin PM cannot come to the rescue on this one.

02.04.2003
02.08.2003
B-

Keckler

2-13
Recap

From Dusk 'Til Yawn

Dawn - Trip and Don at Gas Giant. Trip, his chest hairy, his chest bare. Don, his eyes yellow, his mouth full of antibiotic spittle. Keckler, her head sore, her beer bottles depressingly dry.

01.07.2003
01.09.2003
D+

Keckler

2-12
Recap

Stormship Troopers

The Catwalk - While being riders on the storm of the twenty-fourth century in the nacelles, Quantum and qrew leave themselves open to an alien boarding. Since he's gotten really out of practice, Quantum decides it's time for him to do a little heroic furrowing.

12.17.2002
12.21.2002
B+

Keckler

2-11
Recap

Kiss Me, Ingrate

Precious Cargo - Trip, who IS from Florida, rescues a bit of crumpet from her crystal coffin, but as soon as he gets his Universal Translator working, he wishes he hadn't bothered. We all do.

12.10.2002
12.13.2002
F

Keckler

2-10
Recap

The Inner Light's Pox-Ridden Bastard Cousin

Vanishing Point - Hoshi gets trapped in a world where she's doomed to wander for all eternity in a jog bra, but no one can see her to admire her skin. Except the viewers, of course.

11.26.2002
11.29.2002
F

Keckler

2-9
Recap

The Naked Then

Singularity - Yet another Trek series seeks refuge in a storyline where the crew is afflicted by a weird illness that causes them to act comically. Bakula was actually good in this one -- or was that just the radiation sickness talking?

11.19.2002
11.22.2002
B+

Keckler

2-8
Recap

I Left My Communicator In San Francisco

The Communicator - Quantum and Reed attempt to pick up where "A Piece Of The Action" left off. But in the past. And without the funny voices, mannerisms, and Spocko in a zoot suit, helping Kirk drive a "flivver." If Bermaga were going to borrow from the past (again!), couldn't they at least have made it good? JUST THIS ONCE?!

11.12.2002
11.14.2002
D+

Keckler

2-7
Recap

Seven of Whine

The Seventh - In her past life, T'Pol visited H'zelden to purge her psyche of a pesky guilt complex, but when she starts experiencing flashbacks of murder most foul, Quantum becomes her therapist, shoulder to cry on, and bosom buddy. While T'Pol has multiple nervous breakdowns on a frozen planet, Trip, Reed, and Phlox pal around on the ship and discuss loose stools.

11.05.2002
11.08.2002
B-

Keckler

2-6
Recap

Moroners

Marauders - Emboldened by a headband from Footloose, Quantum saves a dusty locale from pushy mineral rights blackmailers.

10.29.2002
10.31.2002
F

Keckler

2-5
Recap

Pets And Petulance

A Night In Sickbay - Now that Quantum's got the Furrowing Butt Chump down pretty well, for his next trick, maybe he can be a captain.

10.15.2002
10.20.2002

Keckler

2-4
Recap

Maximum Over(warp)drive

Dead Stop - Stephen King is no longer writing novels, because he decided to write for Enterprise. Okay, not really, but it was still the best episode they've done yet, what with the dead people and the Evil Service Station and the actual acting.

10.08.2002
10.13.2002
A

Keckler

2-3
Recap

Starship Mine

Minefield - Nothing brings two men together quicker than the disarming of an anti-starship device, discussing bodily functions, and staring Death in the face long enough to tell him he's got bad breath.

10.01.2002
10.04.2002
B-

Keckler

2-2
Recap

A Vulcan's Tale

Carbon Creek - Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a pointy Vulcan, who walked a pointy mile and fell in love with a human for awhile.

09.24.2002
09.26.2002
C+

Keckler

2-1
Recap

Search For Yesterday

Shockwave, Part II - Quantum and Daniels plagiarize Spock and Data's books in "City on the Edge of Forever" and "Time's Arrow" as they make use of local resources, plus a few gadgets conveniently brought from Enterprise, to press The Big Temporal Reset Button In The Sky.

09.17.2002
09.20.2002
B-

Keckler

1-26
Recap

Quantum Leap of Faith of the Heart

Shockwave, Part I - Another show, another cliffhanger. Quantum has to play Time Bandits with Dead Man Walking Daniels in order to understand some level of engineering and get out of a sticky situation with the mass destruction of a colony. And to keep myself entertained, I pull more Withnail and I references out of my butt that are largely going to go over the heads of my readership.

05.21.2002
05.27.2002
A

Keckler

1-25
Recap

Bad Moon Risan

Two Days And Two Nights - When they all downloaded their individual travel guides for shore leave, Mayweather chose The Idiot's Guide to Risa, Quantum got Lonely Planet, Trip and Reed shared Cheap Eats and Sleeps, and Hoshi got off without one. Back on the ship, Phlox got under the covers and made T'Pol read Goodnight, Moon.

05.14.2002
05.18.2002
B

Keckler

1-24
Recap

Like sands through my beer glass

Desert Crossing - After an offal bad experience with Rocky Mountain oysters, Trip and Quantum decide not to get involved in a land war over a few drip castles, instead going out to work on their tans. But wouldn't you know it, Trip starts trippin', and Quantum has to force-feed him radon-tainted water while ordering him around a lot. T'Pol launches a search party and explains the finer points of the Montana outback to Hoshi.

05.07.2002
05.13.2002
B

Keckler

1-23
Recap

A Hero Ain't Nothing But A Sandwich

Fallen Hero - While providing amnesty for a disgraced Vulcan ambassador, we discover that Quantum's got a whole closetful of Furrowed Brows we haven't seen yet. Linwood from Angel warps in, just as slimy as ever, to show us his new hairdo. Trip frantically slaps band-aids on the engine as they push warp five, and Reed casually mentions that he likes shooting other people. On Brown-Noser Deck, T'Pol spends a lot of the episode apologizing to the Ambassador for the way Hoshi's quarters smell, and Phlox cries.

05.07.2002
05.10.2002
C+

Keckler

1-22
Recap

Mucus of Borg

Vox Sola - After offending ANOTHER alien race -- how many does that make? I can't count that high -- Enterprise is infiltrated by a mucus plug that squats in a cargo bay, ensnaring random crewmen in its glutinous strands. Luckily, one of the ensnared is Quantum, who embarks on a diluted water polo allegory, forcing the still-conscious crewmembers into comas, until he manages to bore himself catatonic. In other news, Reed applies for a patent, Phlox gives a dissection lesson, Hoshi and T'Pol make sweet algorithms, and May-Witness-To-The-Execution shows us why he's better off phoning in his lines.

04.30.2002
05.04.2002
B

Keckler

1-21
Recap

You Can Call Me Al

Detained - In a rather predictable and forced storyline, Mayweather and Quantum must confront and overcome their aversion to the Suliban complexion as they find themselves birds of a feather, flocking together a bit. Shadows of "Shadows of P'Jem," anyone? The Dean of Quantum's previous life Leaps in for a guest spot and some latex treatment on his nose.

04.29.2002
04.30.2002
B-

Keckler

1-20
Recap

Night of the Living Dread

Oasis - To-day is gonna be the day that they're gonna find out what's true / By now Odo should've somehow realized what he's gotta do / Trip doesn't believe that anybody feels the way he does about her now / Backbeat the word was on the street that the blood in their body's out / Quantum's sure he's heard it all before but he still had to use the pout / And all the skies they warp along are winding / And all the stars that lead them there are blinding / There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how / Because maybe, this will be the one that brains me / And after all / Trek's my wonderbawl.

04.02.2002
04.07.2002
C

Keckler

1-19
Recap

Raiders of the Lost Vault

Acquisition - The crew gets knocked out by mysterious aliens with butt-shaped heads, who turn Quantum into their beast of burden and long to make T'Pol their sex slave, while Trip displays the latest line of panties from Victoria's Secret's Men in Space line.

03.26.2002
03.31.2002
B

Keckler

1-18
Recap

A Private Little Hunt

Rogue Planet - Without any real understanding of the situation or players involved, Quantum helps an indigenous alien species he knows bubkes about -- except that it can show up as a pretty lady in a negligee -- to combat another species he knows even less about. What that man doesn't know could fill a black hole. The rest of the cast stands around being conscientious objectors to the Plot Movement, but we do find out that Mathra and Reed both have twenty-eight merit badges and the captain only twenty-six. Nyah!

03.19.2002
03.25.2002
D+

Keckler

1-17
Recap

The Inner Fright

Fusion - On their way to yet another astrological wonder of Quantum's childhood, the crew runs across some sitar-playing, caftan-wearing, acid-dropping Vulcans. When Quantum's not preoccupied with sticking his big gin blossom into everyone else's business, he's making Trip do it for him, while T'Pol holes up in her room to perform a mind-altering experiment with Ben Stiller's Vulcan twin.

02.26.2002
03.04.2002
C+

Keckler

1-16
Recap

Strifeboat

Shuttlepod One - Trip and Reed perform a field experiment to test the hypothesis that, under the right circumstances, they would use their last breath to bicker.

02.12.2002
02.18.2002
F

Strega

1-15
Recap

Stuck Inside Of Coridan With The P'Jem Blues Again

Shadows Of P'Jem - Trip grates. Reed infiltrates. T'Pol rotates. Quantum gyrates. Hoshi prevaricates. Phlox medicates. Mayflower vacates, and Keckler continues to stagnate.

02.05.2002
02.09.2002
C

Keckler

1-14
Recap

Holier ThanThou

Sleeping Dogs - Reed, T'Pol, and Hoshi are stranded on a Klingon ship where Reed plays with a new kind of torpedo, and T'Pol shows Hoshi the Vulcan Way. Back on Enteprise, Quantum studies the Klingon culture and Trip stands around making dumb comments, while Phlox ties a female alien to a bed. Kinky stuff. It gets even kinkier when you bring all the random plot holes into it. Okay, it really doesn't, but I made you look.

01.29.2002
02.04.2002
F

Keckler

1-13
Recap

Doctor's Day

Dear Doctor - Pssst! Hey! Yeah, you! C'mere, I gotta tell you something. Okay, you ready? Enterprise didn't suck this week. Shhh! I know, I know! The story line has been done before, and Reed was virtually nonexistent, but still, Quantum's God complex is showing signs of going into remission, and Hoshi trickled a bit more out of minor-character-hood. So anyway, pass it on!

01.22.2002
01.27.2002
C+

Keckler

1-12
Recap

Cannon in D-fense

Silent Enemy - What can you get the man in your life who has all the phase pistols, torpedoes, and minor explosions his little heart desires? Resequenced protein, obviously. El Capitan Quantanamo orders Hoshi on a top-secret mission to discover Reed's favorite foodstuffs, while the rest of the crew wastes time fighting Praying Mantis aliens who manage to use the humans' mother tongue against them.

01.15.2002
01.22.2002
B-

Keckler

1-11
Recap

Tempus fudges-it

Cold Front - In a story arc that rivals the convolutions of my small intestine, the Enterprise crew receives a visitor from the future. Hint: It's not Michael J. Fox. In other news, Porthos proves his worth above diamonds, Reed marries me, and Trip can't stop showing people his warp core. Meanwhile, Phlox finds a bit of religion, and Quantum entertains Heaven's Gate. Turning to the police blotter, the crew is hauled in and charged with breaking several laws of physics. Again.

11.27.2001
12.02.2001
F

Keckler

1-10
Recap

Play Dom Jot, Hu-mon!

Fortunate Son - Trailing extensive morals, Enterprise rushes to the rescue of a barge vessel after a Nausicaan attack. Mayflower gets back in touch with his "boomer" roots, while T'Pol plays nice with children. Trip's face-time was fairly short and his lines were blessedly shorter, but it does look like Reed made friends with the bronzing cream this time week. Special cuteness appearance by Porthos the Dog.

11.20.2001
11.25.2001
C-

Keckler

1-9
Recap

Nobs And Nonsense

Civilization - Dude. T'Power Ranger is just rising in Keckler's estimation after this episode, and that can only be a sign of the Apocalypse. But we'll go with it because it's making Keckler happy. Let's see -- not enough Reed, so that means double Keckler's Earl Grey quotient this week; Hoshi had good hair, but we didn't see it nearly enough even when there was crucial a point when Quantum started hearing Pig Latin; Trip stayed out from underfoot for the most part; and Quantum got a little hot alien love. Well, it wasn't that hot. Like, Keckler still has her stomach contents.

11.13.2001
11.19.2001
C-

Keckler

1-8
Recap

Here Comes The Bride, Siliconed, Green, And Snide

Breaking The Ice - T'Pol's nuptial hour draws on apace but o! methinks how fast this new show wanes. But soft! What wind through yonder ass breaks? It is the Captain, and Quantum is that name which by any other would still stink at his job. Mayweather and Reed are as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, but shalt not escape calamity. Get thee to a poddery, go! Was there ever a recapper that hath drunk so much Post Road as I today?

11.06.2001
11.12.2001
C-

Keckler

1-7
Recap

Scent of a Vulcan

The Andorian Incident - I'm attempting to pick up the shattered pieces of my expectations and paste my faith back together, but since I only have this episode to use as a fixative, I don't think I'm getting anywhere fast. It sucked. It was stupid, boring, contrived, trite, and predictable beyond all possibly lousy belief. The Blue Man Group arrives at some Vulcan monk-hole and delivers bruises all around. There's some finagling and a "surprise" ending. Oh, and this episode was brought to you by Degree. I mean really, what was with all the comments about B.O.? I loathed this last hour of television so much, it made me miss Voyager.

10.30.2001
11.06.2001
F

Keckler

1-6
Recap

Friendship 2 1/2

Terra Nova - Once upon a time, there was this colony and it got lost. And there was some radiation. It was bad. Then it got found. And it was good.

10.23.2001
10.29.2001
C-

Keckler

1-5
Recap

Cap'n Don't Preach

Unexpected - 'Cuz he's not keepin' the alien. Trip's called upon in the line of booty to repair some warp coils on an alien ship where the crew eats the walls, grows grass on the floor, and utilizes other mind-altering devices. Trip returns with a bun in the oven and no clue how it happened. I'd mention the rest of the crew, but TPTB seem to have forgotten their existence. It all just teaches you to keep your fingers in your own pebbles.

10.16.2001
10.22.2001
B

Keckler

1-4
Recap

Requiem For A Transporter Beam

Strange New World - An away team is sent to an uninhabited world, but things get trippy with some psychotropic pollen.

10.09.2001
10.11.2001
C+

Omar G

1-3
Recap

The Worm Turns

Fight Or Flight - In space, life can get kinda dull. Especially when there's no need for quality DeCon time. But be careful what you wish for. Our stir-crazy crew stumbles upon an abandoned ship and finds some pretty sketchy experiments going on. Naturally, they must do some meddling and some butting in until they get caught with their hand in the cookie jar by a big, scary looking spaceship that decides Enterprise should be its next science fair project. I don't remember what else happened, because I fell asleep. Read the recap; it should bring you up to warp speed.

10.02.2001
10.08.2001
C+

Keckler

1-1
Recap

Yesterday's Enterprise

Broken Bow - Just sit right back and you'll read a snark,/A snark of a cosmic trip/That started from a stellar port/Aboard this new starship./The mate was a skanky Vulcan chick,/The skipper brash with pride./The astronauts set warp that day/For a three-hour ride, a three-hour ride./The Klingon started getting loud,/The Suliban were shrewd,/If not for the courage of the fearless crew /The mission would be screwed, the mission would be screwed./No cloak, no shields, no chamber pots,/Not a single phaser store/Like Robinson Crusoe,/As ancient as of yore./So join us here each week, my pals,/You're sure to shout with glee,/At seven horny space cowboys,/Here on Mighty Big TV!

09.25.2001
10.01.2001
B

Keckler

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