So, I'm starting to sing along to the song this week when I hear a *click!* I look over to see Mathra holding up a Bic lighter.
T'Pol reports that the roguish planet has lots of nekkid fauna running around, and Hoshi wonders how that's possible. "Shouldn't the surface be frozen solid?" May-waaazzzzup asks. T'Pol explains to everyone, "Hot gases venting from the planet's interior [as portrayed by William Shatner] -- most of the life forms are concentrated in those areas." T'Pol can't find any sign of humanoid life, but Reed picks up a power signature near the planet's equator. "There's a ship down there," he concludes. They attempt a hail and fail. "Mebbe they wanna be left alone," Trip slack-jaws. "Ship alone on a dark planet, mebbe they're on their honeymoon." Yeah, maybe you're on a honeymoon, Trip. From your brain!
Shuttlepod zips from Enterprise, transporting Quantum, T'Pol, Reed (it's a Reed episode!), and Hoshi (it's a Reed and Hoshi episode!) to the dark planet. Reed complains about being unable to use their infrared sensors to find the detected ship; the heat generated from the thermal vents keeps getting in the way. T'Pol says she's "scanning for a break in the canopy," and Hoshi shows off her worldliness by commenting, "If it's anything like the Amazon, good luck." Quantum says something about being able to land a sh'pod with his eyes closed. "Well, the proof's in the pudding, Captain," Reed says caustically. You would be the expert in that realm, Malcolm McBritish. T'Pol reports a clearing ahead, "but it's not much bigger than the sh'pod." "Doesn't have to be," Cpt. Conceited smirks.
Having landed, the four explorers stomp through the underbrush, waving their flashlights at anything that moves. T'Pol gives general directions to where the mysterious great space coaster is. "Follow me!" Reed says, starting off. "Why don't you let me play captain for awhile, Malcolm," Quantum says, clapping him on the back. But no one has any fun when we play that way, Cpt. Braindead. "This reminds me of the rainforest in New Zealand," Quantum starts to orate, "I earned my Wilderness Merit Badge there." Pretty good scout who can look at a few moth-eaten shrubs at night and have it remind him of somewhere else. Reed comments that he didn't know Quantum was a Boy Scout. Oh, come on, he's the ultimate in Boy Scoutiness -- always helping little old aliens across the warp signature. "I was an Eagle Scout," Quantum corrects him. "So was I," Reed says. Well, so was Mathra, for that matter. He got letters from the president, the vice-president, and a bunch of other politicos from the state of Virginia, AND the coach of the Redskins. Guess which one he prized above all? Yep, the one from Joe Gibbs. Quantum asks how many merit badges Reed pinned to his sash. For the record, Mathra's got twenty-eight. "Twenty-eight," Reed chortles. Quantum doesn't say anything. "You?" Reed asks blandly. "Twenty-six," Quantum tells him. "That's not bad, sir," Reed says consolingly. Heh. Any scene that shows Quantum up is a good one; you throw Reed into the mix and you've got something primed for the Emmys. Okay, I might have gotten a bit carried away with that thought.