T'Pol interrupts their peeing ritual to point out something glowing like a Nokia phone right in front of them. The new Nokia phones, mind you, that have the cool blue backlight, not the old green backlight of over-the-hill cell phones like ours. And just as I'm done typing that, the four explorers turn on some electronic eye patches that glow green. Where do they get those wonderful toys (tm Jack Nicholson in Batman)? "Man, it's like a herd of post-apocalyptic General Changs," Mathra croaks, snarfing up a furball. It's allergy season. The Gen. Chang patches allow them to see infrared signatures in the dark. We snag a glimpse of the jungle through Quantum's patch, and it looks like a scene from Predator. Maybe Quantum will get eaten. They creep through more underbrush and spy an Indiglo caterpillar crawling up a tree. Glow, little glowworm, glimmer! Quantum comments, "We spot any more creatures like that and we'll earn our exobiology badges." You know what's coming, don't you? "Actually," Reed says, "I already have that one." Quantum huffs away. Obviously, Mathra doesn't have that particular badge. Yet. They stumble across some signs of civilization, and Hoshi reports, "A campsite, sir." Quantum announces their presence. T'Pol tells him she still isn't reading any bio-signs, but the foreign starship is less than two hundred meters away. "You and Malcolm check it out," Quantum says. "We'll stay here in case anyone shows up." He's just hoping Reed gets mauled by something so he can be the guy with the most merit badges on Enterprise. Closed captioning tells me that I'm supposed to be hearing "exotic howls and screeches," but all I really hear are the everyday croakings from swamp frogs. As T'Pol and Reed beat the bushes for a spaceship, something else is watching them through a red-lit visor. There's a very audible CRUNCH and Reed jumps, saying, "Did you hear that?" T'Pol says she did and takes some more readings, reporting from Predator-Vision that she had a humanoid bio-sign for a moment. "It's gone," she says, as red-visor-vision watches them and steps on a few more autumn leaves. "It's not gone!" Reed says, his Eagle Scout ears detecting the crunch. The Red Visors hurl themselves at T'Pol and Reed, and there's a bit of a dust-up. The fatigue-clad, red-visored humanoids point weapons at T'Pol and Reed and bark at them in alien-speake. One of them calibrates something on his head, raises his visor, and gestures at the other fatigue-clad, red-visored humanoid, who lowers his weapon. T'Pol resheathes her phaser pistol.
Episode Report CardKeckler: C- | 326 USERS: C+
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