Wow. A whole new season, still a bit damp and wrinkled from its shell. Having a show actually go into a second season is a big first for me. One small step for Keckler, one giant step for recapperkind.

Previouslys: Quantum's fuzzy chest, Trip's wrathful drawl, Echoey Shower Guy, Suliban and Post-Apocalyptic San Francisco. You want more? Read the recaps. Then go buy a mug or a shirt or an apron.

Through the bridge view screen, T'Pol tells Silik that Quantum isn't on board and he surely must have sensors that can confirm that. Silik doesn't feel like telling her that their sensors are offline because Silij and Siliw overloaded the system downloading some Shower Guy porn off the internet, so he just reminds T'Pol that she's lied to him before. T'Pol invites him to come see for his own damn self that Quantum has vanished without a trace. Silik snaps at her to "Drop out of warp. Prepare to be boarded." Reed orders up some security at their docking ports, but T'Pol overrides that order, much to Trip's drawling and dribbling dismay. "Are y'crazy? How do we know how menny Sulibon are coming aboard? They cu'd try to take over the shiip!" he argues. T'Pol reminds them of the highly armed swarm of pods surrounding them, whose particle weapons are still trained on their warp core. "So, unless you have a better suggestion..." T'Pol says. Trip shuts his peeecan pah hole and shakes his head in defeat. I'm glad to see that Jolene is no longer acting with her dinners. She is, however, now acting with her butt. Look at the wee thing, sticking out like a pin cushion!

Outside, a Suliban pod docks to Enterprise.

Wahoo! They changed the song! I can't believe it; I never dreamed they would listen to all the voices crying out in rage, but they did! They did! I love them, they're wonderful! What? They did so change the theme song. Yes, they did. Shut up! They did too! La la la la la - I can't hear you!

Back on the sunny side of the post-apocalyptic street, Daniels and Quantum pick their way through the rubble. Quantum tries to get some clarification about how Daniels lived in this timeline if the city was destroyed so long ago. "You're thinking of time travel like we're in some H.G. Wells novel, we're not -- it's far more complicated," Daniels snips. No, you're actually in a Sweet Valley High novel, and you are Bruce Patman and T'Pol is Jessica Wakefield. I wonder if he would have used a writer other than Wells if The Time Machine hadn't been remade into box-office dreck so recently. Daniels sizes up Quantum's intellect much in the way I have, and tells him he wouldn't understand. "Try me!" Quantum challenges him. Daniels continues to look for Coca-Cola bottles among the mess. Anyone else remember that Pepsi commercial set in futuristic Earth where a Coke bottle is a fossil? Quantum grabs Daniels by the arm and tells him that he's owed an explanation for being dragged out of his warm bed in the middle of night to be paraded down the Book of Revelation's Main Street, just waiting for the horsemen to trot through the crosswalk. Maybe he just wanted to make Quantum eggs the way he knows his Captain likes them. Daniels tells him he doesn't have any answers for him, "and you're right, I shouldn't be here, which means you shouldn't be here either, but you are. We are." Okay, and that was the sound of the writers sweeping the temporal explanation under the carpet. Daniels starts to chuckle over the irony of bringing Quantum there to protect the timeline. "We did quite a job!" he wheezes.