So, because UPN happens to suck, I actually missed the first few seconds of this episode. When the monkey at the controls at the netlet finally realized it was 8:03, and they hadn't put the right tape in, Lt. "The Shining Star In The Television Theatre Firmament" Reed was saying something about a vessel dropping out of warp. "Twelve kilometers, dead ahead," Reed finishes. Captain Quantum puts on his "Shiny Happy Aliens Holding Hands" face and tells Hoshi to put the vessel up on the viewer. The vessel in question is a flat, arrowhead-shaped thing with green headlights. Another addition to my growing collection of Enterprise toys. T'Pol confirms that this alien ship is indeed alien to her, and Quantum smirks, "Good!" and tells Hoshi to hail them. "This is the Starship Enterprise, what can we do for you?" He's so hokey, I'm surprised he didn't say, "Now, partners, what can we do you for?" There's no response. Quantum tries again, this time giving his name and the fact that they are on a mission, not from God, but from Earth. Crickets chirp, and a lone owl hoots. Quantum is puzzled by this, but Hoshi confirms that the communication lines are indeed Sprint-like in their free-and-clearness. "Do you need assistance?" Quantum asks. A coyote howls at a cloudless sky. "If you don't want to talk, that's fine, but you dropped in on us," Quantum huffs. Mathra pauses in his brushing of Hunca Munca's teeth to snort, "I'm sure when you're dealing with a race that even the Vulcans don't know about, the universal translator has all kinds of fun with the phrase 'dropped in on.'" The UT must have devised something particularly offensive, because the alien ship turns up its nose, flames green, and flounces off into warp. "Wuz it something I said?" Cpt. Chucklehead simpers. Reed reports that his sensors picked up nothing from the Green Lantern's ship. "No bio-signs, no propulsion or weapon signatures, no readings at all," he says. Quantum puts on his stumped face. It is one that's really beginning to show signs of wear.
It's been a long road -- thought I had escaped this song. It's been a long time, but I'm forced to sing along. And I have seen my fears all revived again, I will run and hide. But it's not going to drag me back to hell, no, it's not going to claim my mind. 'Cause I've got Post of the Road. I'm going where the buzz will take me.
Quantum has assembled the brains of the ship to figure out why they weren't successful in becoming bosom buddies with their little shadow. Well, make that three brains and Mayflower. Quantum asks if there are any inhabited star systems in the neighborhood, but T'Pol gives that a negative. "Why fly right up to us just to give us the silent treatment?" Quantum asks. Maybe they didn't like the way you smelled. Hoshi -- being so incredibly logical in this one scene that she leaps up to right behind Reed on my "crewmembers who are better than Quantum" list -- says, "Maybe they got our signal but it didn't make any sense to them. Our translator's far from perfect." T'Pol tells Quantum not to be so sensitive, since many species might have reasons for their verbal restraint that are beyond the human ken. "Maybe they checked us out and decided we weren't very interesting," Mayflower offers. "Us? Not interesting?" Reed asks wonderingly, and I suddenly became polygamous since I married him on the spot. "Let's calibrate the sub-space processor. At least people back home wanna talk to us," Quantum peeves. The brains and Mayflower disperse back to their stations.