Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | 2 USERS: A+
Trip's Brain

Phlox feeds the baby. From the bottle, dudes. In the sour corner, Quantum muses that three days ago Mozzarella Baby was just one of Phlox's "creatures," something he "kept on a shelf." Is he calling Mozzarella Baby a slug? Because all babies look like that for the first few months. Phlox blandly agrees that Mozzarella Baby has come a long way, baby. T'Pol feels the need to remind them all how quickly they grow up. Can I get a few bars of "Sunrise, Sunset" over here? When T'Pol asks where the kid is going to live, Phlox suggests his Sickbay-cum-laboratory. Why not? He'll truly be a product of his environment. Quantum agrees, and he and T'Pol take their sour attitudes to the door. Phlox stops them in their sour tracks when he says he now needs to find a name for the little cheeseball. I'm all for "Buffalo." Phlox doesn't like the suggestions he's been given, "Steven, Enrique, Dennis." As Phlox continues to giggle and coo over the baby, T'Pol and Quantum roll their eyes in irritation. Yes, the two crabpots are really regretting Quantum's decision to allow this procedure. Quantum's sure Phlox will think of something, and he leaves. I think he should name the cheeseball "Edward Furrowlong" just to piss both T'Pol and Quantum off.

Phlox's log says he's finally come up with a name, "Sim," which is so stupid I'm not even going to qualify it by using it. Phlox logs that it's lucky Denobulans require such little sleep so that he can stay up all hours while Mozzarella Baby teethes. He adds that he doesn't know how humans do it. Well, my parents rubbed rum on my gums. Explains a lot, doesn't it? There's a scene of Phlox changing Mozzarella Baby and acting grossed out when he peels back the diaper. He thinks he's found a fertilizer for his fern. I wonder if all new parents should start doing that -- they'd have beautiful bougainvillea and jacaranda, and the whole neighborhood would whisper, "Where did they find the time?" and start predicting that their marriage is falling apart because people who have a new baby and beautiful bougainvillea and jacaranda can't have everything.

Hoshi and Phlox sit on the floor with Mozzarella Baby, now Mozzarella Boy, as he reads aloud from an e-pad.

The Evil Dr. Mathra: "Hey kid -- we're going to scoop out your brain!"
Keckler: "Oh, that reminds me, we have ice cream for dessert -- Bailey's or Cookie Dough."

At first, I thought Mozzarella Boy was speaking Denobulan, but then I realized it was his southern accent. It's as thick and annoying as Dill in To Kill a Mockingbird. Mozzarella Boy wants to skip ahead to another part in the book where the Martian machines attack, and Hoshi is all surprised he knows about that chapter. Mozzarella Boy says he remembers his mom reading it to him before. Phlox logs that Mozzarella Boy is remembering things that happened to Trip at that age. An older version of Mozzarella Boy sits in the Mess, playing with pliers. "So, the older he grows, the more of Trip's life he'll recall?" Quantum expositions for us. "There are some species that rely solely on genetic sequencing to pass on their cultural memories. Evidently humans have the same capacity, this could be an important discovery," Phlox says. No, it couldn't, because not only don't I buy it, I don't want it. Remembering all that my parents, grandparents, and so on did? No thank you! And does it work for siblings as well? Because that grosses me out even more! If you want to argue that's not what he meant, you can't, because it's one of the faults of this episode that they never make it clear or convincing what exactly genetic memories mean. In fact, in several cases the genetic "memories" don't even make sense. Quantum thinks Mozzarella Boy is even starting to look like Trip. Yeah, I'm not getting that. Phlox adds, "And he's beginning to ask questions, 'Where did I come from?' 'Where is my mother and father?' 'Why am I here?'"

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