Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | 2 USERS: A+
Trip's Brain

Keckler: "Am I normal?"
The Evil Dr. Mathra: "Why do I get that funny feeling when I climb the ropes in gym class?"

"It's only been three days and he's already beginning to realize how different he is," Quantum says. Well, duh! I mean, when you go from being an infant to a ten-year-old in three days, and you go to sleep fitting one size only to wake up completely splitting your seams all Hulk-style, AND you have memories one day that you totally didn't have the day before, then, yeah, you might start to feel slightly weird. Phlox thinks he's going to have to be told the truth soon. "I gave the order that created him, I should be the one to explain why," Quantum says, comparing himself to God.

Gingivitis is setting in on Enterprise.

Quantum leads Mozzarella Boy into his quarters. They must have been off walking Porthos, because the adorable puppy bounds across Quantum's bed and onto his own. Hey -- they gave him a chew toy! Finally. Mozzarella Boy asks if Porthos does any tricks. "I haven't taught him any. Mostly he eats, sleeps, and not fetches," Quantum says, opening a nutripak. Does the poor pooch poop? Or has it been bred out of him? Quantum instructs Mozzarella Boy to fill the bowl up halfway as Porthos yips a little. That dog is so damn cute. Mozzarella Boy drawls that he had a big dog named Bedford that he could "reiide lak a hoarse." That sounds slightly abusive. Mozzarella Boy notices the action figure Quantum used to stab Bug Eyes and says, "Tha's Zephrum Cock-ran." Mozzarella Boy shows off his knowledge about Cochrane and Quantum's dad. Quantum points out a picture of him and his dad on his first day of flight school. "Didja allays wanna be a starship cap'n?" Mozzarella Boy asks. Quantum says ever since he stopped leaping, and when Mozzarella Boy asks why, he says it was what he was meant to do. "Bet it's a fuhn jahb," Mozzarella Boy adds. Quantum smiles without mirth, says that it has its moments, and then tells him he's got something to show him.

Porthos wags his head back and forth as the set trainer waves a toy over him. In a launchbay, Quantum shows Mozzarella Boy how to pilot a remote-controlled starship. Mozzarella Boy says that his dad wants him to be an engineer, his mom wants him to be an architect, but he wants to be a starship captain. Does it disturb this kid at all that the time his parents would have told him that would have been a few days ago, yet he doesn't remember seeing them a few days ago? It's almost as if he doesn't have ANY short-term memory from one day to the next, and it's just so implausible that he'd be that calm about it. I'd be freaking the hell out. I truly think they are secretly sedating the cheeseball. Mozzarella Boy adds that it's weird that his parents call him "Trip," everyone on the ship calls him "Sim," and the recapper calls him "Mozzarella Boy." He then asks where his parents are. Quantum tells him it's a little difficult to answer. Mozzarella Boy looks up at Quantum, and as his attention is diverted, crashes the little model starship into a railing, breaking off a thing. Porthos watches it expectantly and barks as the toy lands. Quantum and Mozzarella Boy retrieve the broken piece and the downed craft. "It's brohken," Mozzarella Boy says. I think it's weird that he doesn't even apologize. Phlox needs to larn him some manners. Quantum says glue will fix it and he broke it many times himself. Mozzarella Boy says he misses his parents. Quantum says, "Come with me." Is he going to show him pictures of Phlox and Mozzarella Ball? Because that would be sweet.

Sickbay. As they walk to a curtained area, Mozzarella Boy says that Phlox told him he wasn't allowed to go over there. Quantum tells him it's okay, and pulls back the curtain surrounding ProtoTryp. "He's Trip," Mozzarella Boy says. Hold on! How did he know that? According to Phlox, he ONLY has the memories that Trip would have had AT THAT AGE! There is no way, not even if he was descended from a wedge of Camembert, that this cheeseball would know what he looks like in the future. NO WAY! "My parents? They're not really mine...they're his," Mozzarella Boy says. And then he says that his memories are Trip's and not his. Again, there is NO CHANCE IN FAKE SCIENCE HELL THAT HE COULD KNOW THAT! Speaking this episode's "scientific" lingo, the memory of what you look like in the future, and that your parents aren't yours but are this person's who you shouldn't even know, COULD NOT BE GENETICALLY ENCODED! Mozzarella Boy realizes that he's "just some sort of copy of him." Okay, TRIP before he got coma'd didn't even know that, so WHY should MOZZARELLA BOY? Now, they're just putting memories or knowledge into his head that WEREN'T EVEN TRIP'S TO BEGIN WITH! If ANY-thing, the writers should have made him confused, and Quantum would have to explain it to him, because this way is just TOTALLY BUNK! And I'm sorry, but that? Pisses me off. They could have fixed it so easily, but they didn't. Because their desk chairs come from LA-Z-BOY! Quantum says that Mozzarella Boy is more than just a copy of Trip's memories, because he's making his own on Enterprise. And quite a few others, APPARENTLY! Mozzarella Boy asks how long he's lived there. WHY? Doesn't he remember?! Quantum tells him he was born four days ago, and that there's something he has that Trip needs. Phlox is going to perform an operation on him to get it. Mozzarella Boy asks if it will hurt, but Phlox steps in to say that he won't feel a thing. Mozzarella Boy says that's what all doctors say, but Quantum backs up Phlox's statement. Mozzarella Boy takes half a second to absorb all this and then brightly asks if they can go fix the model.

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