MONDO EXTRAS

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my choice
That I'd rip clean that horrid voice
And maybe we'd be happy for a while.

But Russell Watson made me shiver
With every recap I'd deliver.
Bad sounds on my TiVo;
I sorta wished for Devo.

I can't remember if I cried
When I read about the ears he fried,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the franchise died.

So bye-bye, Mr. Star Trek Guy
Drove the series to the Furies,
But the Furies were wry.
And that good old Keck was drinking 'tinis so dry
Vowing, this'll be the way that I die.
This'll be the way that I die.

Did you read the book of tech,
And do you believe this utter dreck,
If Bermaga tell you so?
Do you believe in reversing pole
Can a phaser save your Trekkie soul,
And can you teach me how to mind-meld real slow?

Well, I know that you're in love with Trip
'Cause I saw you squeein' like a drip.
You both dug into pie.
Man, you dig that drawlin' blond guy.

I was a rabid teenage science geek
With an action figure and some Klingon-speake,
But I knew I was not a freak
The day the franchise died.

I started singin'
Bye-bye, Mr. Star Trek Guy
Drove the series to the Furies,
But the Furies were wry.
And that good old Keck was drinking 'tinis so dry
Vowing, this'll be the way that I die.
This'll be the way that I die.

From now on we'll be saying "frak"
And then there's just no looking back,
But that's not what we used to need.
When the MACO hit on Malcolm Reed,
With a gun he loaded with Harris Tweed
And a love that ignored the fact he peed.

Oh, and while the ship was flying warp,
The Chef whipped up some pewpy gorp
Some fandom did announce;
The new show they renounced.
And while May-Who faded right away
Hoshi's smile, it held our sway,
But we slung arrows all the way
The day the franchise died.

We were singin'
Bye-bye, Mr. Star Trek Guy
Drove the series to the Furies,
But the Furies were wry.
And that good old Keck was drinking 'tinis so dry
Vowing, this'll be the way that I die.
This'll be the way that I die.

Namby Pamby a gazelle named Bambi.
The Quant mouthed off to a Vulcan dandy,
Light years high but sans accent.
He landed wounded in a tent.
The writers tried for a Nazi gent,
With the Keckler on the sidelines in torment.