Fourth TOS Movie? The Hell It Is!
Kirk tells everyone to be careful; many of the primitive Earthlings' customs will be shocking to them. At this, McCoy just smiles and stares at Spock until it dawns on Kirk that Spock looks a little different than everyone else. Spock rips off a strip of his terrycloth robe and ties it around his head, serving to both cover his ears and fit in with the aerobic fad of the time. He'll be the coolest guy in the town. McCoy shakes his head, smiling, because everything Spock does is really kind of cute to him when it isn't infuriating. Kirk tells everyone they'll have a phaser and a communicator, but they should be careful about using either. And he tells anyone in uniform to remove their rank and insignia, although, why? I think they'd kind of make them look more like people of the '80s than not. Also, why isn't everyone in uniform? Did Kirk, Uhura, and Scotty forget to donate a dollar for Casual Friday?
Sulu lands the ship. Down in "Golden Gate Park," placed in quotes because Keckler informs me that this is totally not Golden Gate Park and I'll believe her, two garbage men are being simple blue-collar late-twentieth-century kinda guys. Then an invisible ships lands next to them and they're all "huh?" and also "ack!" because the gusts of wind the landing ship creates are blowing beer bottles and stuff in their faces. Way to check to make sure there weren't any innocent bystanders around before you landed the ship, Sulu. Or maybe he did it on purpose. I've always thought there was something a little sociopath-ish about Mr. Sulu. In a totally awesome display of '80s special effects, a garage can is flattened, and the ground it rests upon is indented in the shape of what I guess are the Klingon ship's surprisingly tiny landing pads.
The garbage men barely have time to collect themselves when a thin shaft of bright light appears in the air. A walkway comes out of it and lowers itself to the ground, and the garbage men decide that they're going to leave now. They take off. Down the walkway comes the crew. "Everybody remember where we parked!" says Kirk. Golden Gate Park, 4th floor, center row B. As the crew walk away from the ship, the unmistakable sound of synthesized drum beats reminds us exactly when we are.
Suddenly, it's daytime, and San Francisco is bustling! So bustling that when the crew tries to cross a street, Kirk almost gets hit by a car. "Watch where you're going, you dumb-ass!" the driver shouts. Never one to back down from a challenge, especially when the rest of his crew is watching, Kirk spits back, "Well double-dumb-ass on you!" Although really, the only double ass in this scene is, of course, the rotund Mr. Scott. Kirk turns around to look back at the crew all, "Can you believe that guy? I know!" In a wider shot, we see the crew walking across the street. Kirk and the driver are still making hand gestures at each other, and Sulu joins in with a stop-and-point. As awesome as that scene was, I would have loved to have seen what would have happened if it was Bones who got called a dumb-ass. ["I'm sorry, the 'double-dumb-ass' gets me every time. I get to laughing so hard, I can't see straight." --Keckler]