MONDO EXTRAS

Fourth TOS Movie? The Hell It Is!

by Keckler And Sara M September 10, 2004 11:00 PM

Bones, Kirk, and Annie wheel Chekov out. "How the patient, Doctor?" the cop asks. "He's gonna make it," Kirk says. "'He'? You came in with a she!" the cop blusters. "One little mistake," Kirk mutters as they continue down the hall. The cops realize they've been bamboozled. But instead of running after Kirk and Ko., they run into the OR to take their marching orders from Dr. Asshole Drill. "They've taken the patient -- get some help!" Fanciful music -- the kind that plays when the heroine dresses up like a man to successfully woo her lover in an operetta -- gears up for the chase. After watching the ceiling lights zoom overheard rather quickly, Chekov starts to lift his head up. "Not now, Pavel," Kirk says and mashes his hand over his face, forcing his head back down. Chase. They zoom by the Kidney Lady, who whirrups, "The Doctah gave me a peel and I grew a new kidney!" over and over again to anyone happening by. "Fully functional?" "Fully functional!" Kidney Lady's doctors mutter. After much chasing and a false alarm with an elevator, Kirk and Ko. get beamed into "Golden Gate Park."

Sulu comes down the uncloaked gangway to help get Chekov aboard. Kirk turns to Annie and demands to know where the whales would be right now. Annie says she can show him on a chart, but Kirk tells her he just needs a radio frequency. Annie insists she's coming with him. "Our next stop is the twenty-third century," Kirk reminds her. "Well, I don't care! I've got nobody here -- I've GOT TO HELP THOSE WHALES!" Annie starts to get really shrill, so Kirk shakes her to calm her down. Has that ever done anything for anyone aside from giving them a headache? ["He's probably hoping against hope to induce a belated case of Shaken Baby Syndrome. I know I would." -- Sara M] Kirk thanks her for all her help, but tells her to stay in her own time. "Now, give me the frequency please," Kirk says. Annie gives in and gives it to him. Kirk comms Scotty, "Scotty, beam me up." As he starts to dematerialize, Annie throws her arms around him and says, "Surprise!" It's not like they can't just beam her back down right onto her ass.

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