Fourth TOS Movie? The Hell It Is!
Bellagio effects. Time-lapse weather patterns. Starfleet Command reports power drainage and intense cloud coverage all over the world. The percentage of the planet covered by clouds is 78.6. Temperatures are also dropping rapidly. Brock sends out a red alert and switches emergency power to planetary reserves. As the lights fade in and out, we can sort of see Commander Nurse Chapel looking around in concern. She's trying to find her nonexistent lines. Brock reminds President Papa Smurf that even with planetary reserve power, they can't survive without the sun. Sarek walks in, and Pres. Papa Smurf tells him there's no way they can answer Wilson. "It is difficult to answer when one cannot understand the question," Sarek philosophizes. Normally, that kind of extremely non-helpful response drives me nuts, but I'd listen to Sarek read an actuarial report, so I don't mind. Sarek advises Pres. Papa Smurf to broadcast a planetary distress signal, while they still have time. Pres. Papa Smurf nods.
S.S. Booty. Uhura plays back the President Papa Smurf's planetary distress message, which basically tells everyone to stay away from Earth and save themselves. It's quite pathetically martyristic, actually. Wilson has almost totally ionized the atmosphere, no one has any power, and the oceans are being vaporized. In other words, four more years with Dubya. President Papa Smurf says that until they can find a way to communicate with Wilson, they're screwed. "Farewell," President Papa Smurf adds. Stricken, Kirk sits down. He gazes over at Spock and then rubs his forehead in despair, realizing that if they aren't court-martialed, they lose the chance of sharing a cozy little cell. Kirk asks Uhura to play back Wilson's transmission. The waves of screeches wash and over the ship. Kirk asks for Spock's opinion. "Most unusual. An unknown form of energy of great power and intelligence evidently unaware that its transmissions are destructive. I find it illogical that its intentions should be hostile." Bones is skeptical and sarcastic: "Really? You think this is its way of saying 'Hi, there!' to the people of Earth?" Spock sniffs at this: "There are other forms of intelligence on Earth, Doctor. Only human arrogance would assume that the message must be meant for man." In order for his krill-sized brain to process this, Kirk needs to repeat what Spock said: "You're suggesting that the transmission is meant for a life form other than man?" Spock thinks it's a possibility, and notes that President Papa Smurf said that Wilson was aiming at Earth's oceans.