Subvulcanean Homesick Blues
Kirk crawls up a tube and enters the hallway. "Why was he climbing up the ladder? Do you think he could be playing hide-and-seek?" Mathra wonders. Bones stops Kirk and expresses concern over Spock's recent behavior; he's acting nervy and hasn't eaten in three days. "Maybe he's making a fast getaway from some yeoman's quarters," Mathra adds, still stuck on the ladder thing. Kirk brushes off the concern, saying that Spock must be in one of his "contemplative phases." They both notice Nurse Chapel coming down the hall, but as she catches sight of them and tries to run away. Bones calls her back, and Kirk attempts an escape of his own, but Bones isn't through with him either and detains him.
Bones sticks his nose in at what Nurse Chapel is carrying on a tray. "Oh, Vulcan plomeek soup! And I'll bet you made it, too. You never give up hoping, do you?" Bones says, coming dangerously close to sounding heavily condescending. "I mean, I've never seen anyone use those tunnel-ladders for anything other than being sneaky, like in 'The Way to Eden,'" Mathra continues. Chapel stutters that she thought Spock might like it, since he hadn't been eating. Bones tells her it's okay, and releases her. She goes into Spock's room. Kirk tries to get away again. Does he have to go to the bathroom or something? Again, Bones expresses his concern over Spock's behavior, saying, "When I suggested to Spock that it was time for his routine check-up, your logical, unemotional First Officer turned to me and said: 'You will cease to pry into my personal matters, Doctor, or I will certainly break your neck!'" Kirk manages to get out, "Spock said that?" as Spock bellows, "What is this?!" Chapel screams and comes running out. The soup follows her and crashes against the opposite wall. "Don't keep prying!" Spock yells, "If I want anything from you, I'll ask for it!" He comes to the door of his quarters, his face composed in fury. He sees Bones, Kirk, and a bunch of No-Names in the hall staring at him, and says in a ragged voice, "Captain, I should like to request a leave of absence on my home planet. On our present course you can divert to Vulcan with a loss of but two point eight light days." Kirk tries to ask him "what the devil" his problem is, but Spock interrupts him: "I have made my request, Captain, all I require from you is that you answer it: YES OR NO!" Spock storms back into his quarters, and the door closes in Kirk's face. Well, it's happened. Spock is finally and completely fed up with Kirk taking the credit for doing all the thinking in every episode, so now he wants to take his logic toys and go home. "Oh, and in 'Naked Time,' as well. 'Cuz Sulu climbs up one with his foil thing," Mathra comments, as I look up the dates of the next number theory conference in Utah.