Subvulcanean Homesick Blues
Kirk asks T'Pau what just happened, and T'Pau explains that T'Pring chose challenge over marriage. "With him?!" Bones asks, pointing at the large guard with the large weapon. T'Pau says that the guard only acts if cowardice is seen, and that T'Pring will have to choose her champion. Kirk and Bones give the large-eared Vulcan a look. T'Pring looks bitchy. "Spock," Kirk calls out to the wall. "Do not attempt to speak at him, Kirk. He is deep in the plaktau, the blood fever," T'Pau tells him. As evidence, we see Spock rolling his eyes into the back of his head again. "He vill not speak with thee again until he has passed tru what ees to come. If thee vishes to depart, thee may leeve now," T'Pau says. Is she a Quaker? Kirk and Bones opt to stay, and T'Pau comments that Spock has chosen his friends well. Bones needs clarification: "Ma'am, I don't understand -- are you trying to say that she has rejected him, that she doesn't want him?" T'Pau says that Spock will have to fight for T'Pring: "It is her right." T'Pring continues to look bitchy. Weird Vulcan With Extra-Large Ears looks back and forth. T'Pau asks if T'Pring is ready to "become the property of the victor" of the challenge, and T'Pring says she is. T'Pau asks Spock if he accepts the challenge; Spock nods, his eyes still in the back of his head. T'Pring and Weird Vulcan look at each other. Kirk takes another look at Weird Vulcan and asks if Bones thinks Spock can take him. Bones casts a look back and comments, "I doubt it -- not in his present condition." T'Pau orders T'Pring to choose her champion. T'Pring clasps her hands at her chest and walks toward T'Pau, saying, "As it was in the dawn of our days, as it is today, as it will be for all tomorrows, I make my choice." Kirk stands watching in an exaggerated pose of nonchalance. T'Pring passes by Weird Vulcan, who has stepped up to meet her. "This one!" T'Pring announces, pointing at Kirk. Everyone is taken aback, including the music.
Weird Vulcan protests from the depths of his Jiffy Pop costume, "I am the one. It was agreed!" T'Pau tells him to button it. "Hear me," Weird Vulcan goes on, "I have made the ancient claim. I claim the right, the woman is --" "Kroykah!" T'Pau shouts, fed up. The Cowardice Guard places his weapon between T'Pring and Weird Vulcan. T'Pring bows her head. The Abacus Bells rattle. Weird Vulcan says, "I ask forgiveness," and walks back to his former position on the sidelines. T'Pau tells Kirk that T'Pring can choose him if she wants, but their laws are not enforceable on him. "Thee are free to decline, no harm on thyself," T'Pau finishes. Maybe she's actually Amish. T'Pau gets off her chair and positions herself in front of the Coffin Gong. Head lowered and hands clasped, Spock approaches her and says, "T'Pau." "Thee speaks?" T'Pau wonders. "My friend does not understand," Spock rasps. T'Pau tells him it's up to Kirk to decide. "He does not know," Spock says. "I will do what I must, T'Pau, but not with him. His blood does not burn. He is my friend!" "Eet ees said thy Wulcan blood is thin, are thee Wulcan or are thee human?!" T'Pau questions. Spock goes into detail about all his body parts that are flaming, thus proving himself to be Vulcan. "Thee has the power, T'Pau. In the name of my fathers, forbid. FORBID! T'Pau, I plead with thee -- I beg!" Spock begs and pleads. T'Pau tells him it's a no-go, and a guard comes to wrap a purple sash around Spock.