Subvulcanean Homesick Blues
Spock addresses his betrothed: "Explain." "Specify," T'Pring replies. Spock wants to know why she challenged him and why she chose Kirk for him to kill. "Stonn wanted me. I wanted him," T'Pring explains. Spock looks at Stonn, a.k.a. Weird Vulcan, and says, "I see no logic in preferring Stonn over me." Neither do I -- Stonn is UG-LY. T'Pring tells Spock that he (Spock, not Stonn) has become like a legend among the Vulcans, and she realized that she didn't want to be married to a legend. "But by the laws of our people, I could only divorce you by the Kaliffee. There was also Stonn who wanted very much to be my consort and I wanted him. If your captain were victor, he would not want me and so I would have Stonn. If you were victor, you would free me because I had dared to challenge and again I would have Stonn. But if you did not free me, it would be the same, for you would be gone and I would have your name and your property and Stonn would still be there," T'Pring explains. "Logical," Spock proclaims. "Flawlessly logical." T'Pring bows her head and whispers that she is honored. Spock calls to Stonn and tells him, "She is yours. After a time you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical but it is often true." Ouch. Spock comms the ship and tells them to stand by to beam him up. T'Pring looks down. Spock goes to say goodbye to T'Pau. "Live long and prosper, Spock," T'Pau tells him. "I shall do neither. I have killed my captain and my friend," Spock reminds her, and beams up. I think his parents are going to be mad when they find out he broke the Coffin Gong.
Sick Bay. Bones and Nurse Chapel jump up to greet their new Captain. "Doctor, I shall be resigning my commission -- immediately, of course," Spock tells him. Bones tries to speak. "So I would appreciate your making the final arrangements," Spock continues, standing with his back to the examining room door. Again, Bones tries to talk. "Doctor, please, let me finish," Spock requests. "There can be no excuse for the crime of which I am guilty. I intend to offer no defense." Kirk comes up behind him. "Furthermore, I shall order Mr. Scott to take immediate command of this vessel." "Don't you think you better check with me first?" Kirk asks. Spock whips around and exclaims, "Captain!" Kirk grins and starts to walk by, but Spock grabs him by the arm, whirls him around, and shrieks, "JIM!" There's a big ol' smile plastered across his Vulcan face. The smile fades as he realizes that Nurse Chapel and Bones are grinning at him. He releases Kirk and says, pulling down his shirt in a Picard maneuver, "I am pleased to see you, Captain. You seem uninjured. I am at something of a loss to understand it, however." Kirk says, "Blame McCoy -- that was no triox compound he shot me with. He slipped in a neural paralyzer." Of course he did. "Knocked me out, simulated death," Kirk finishes. "Indeed?" Spock replies. Okay, but when T'Pau discovers that Kirk is really alive, won't she declare the challenge match voided and make them do it again to get it right? I mean, they're all into their customs of today, yesterday, tomorrow and stuff; you'd think they'd be sticklers for dead meaning dead, not feigned dead.