Subvulcanean Homesick Blues
Bridge. Kirk calls Uhura and tells him to get Admiral Komack on the phone and transfer it to Bones's room. "Mr. Sulu, you don't theenk --" Chekov's wig starts to say. "Maybe you'd better plot a course back to Vulcan," Sulu tells him, "just in case." Sulu throws up his hands as if to say, "Those wild and crazy Above Decks!" Yuk yuk yuk.
Spock plays his Vulcan harp, but is interrupted by a message from Uhura. Spock tosses his harp aside and growls, "Let me alone! LET ME ALONE!" With a single clenched fist, he pounds his computer monitor into a pulp as though it were only -- oh, I don't know -- TINFOIL? I don't think he's going to return her call.
Kirk is told by Admiral Komack that there is no way they can be late to the soiree on Altair VI, especially if Kirk won't explain what is so important. Why doesn't Kirk just lie and say Spock is dying of an unknown alien sickness and can only be helped by a special physician on Vulcan? It's not like it's not a believable storyline. ["Or like believability has ever stood in their way up to this point." -- Sars] "Well, that's that!" Bones says as the Admiral hangs up. Kirk goes on about how being an Altair Boy is just a lot of poop and circumstance with no real importance. Nurse Chapel overhears that Spock might be dying, and frets. Kirk blathers that he owes Spock his life ten times over and is not going to let him die, because he's Spock's friend. "I have been and always shall be your...friend!" Sniff! Kirk calls Chekov's bewigged head and orders him to lay in a course for Vulcan, then orders Engineering to push as hard as possible for warp eight. Nurse Chapel lights up at the news and rushes off to play Florence Nightengown. "Course already plotted. Laying it in, sir," Chekov's impudent wig tells him. "I see," Kirk says, "Very well, carry on, Mr. Chekov."