Bridge. Spock taps Bailey's console and reprimands him, "All decks have reported green, Mr. Bailey." I don't even know what he's talking about. If they're all on red alert, why would decks be "reporting green"? Maybe I don't know what "reporting green" means, but Spock did make a point of tapping at a place on the con where there was a red knob lit up. I'm just so confused that I think I'll stop thinking. Bailey basically rolls his eyes at this. "And when the Captain arrives he'll expect a full report --" Spock continues. "On the cube's range and position -- I'll have it by then," Bailey finishes edgily. Spock looks around and takes note of information, but seems to ignore Bailey's snottiness. "Raising my voice back there doesn't mean I was scared or couldn't do my job it means I happen to have a human thing called an adrenaline gland," Bailey grudges out. I believe it's actually called an adrenal gland, Beetle Bailey. Spock mm-hmms this and comments, "It does sound most inconvenient. Have you looked into having it removed?" Spock walks out of the frame. See, that was the genius of Nimoy. He could deliver one of these snippy Vulcan lines with such a ho-hum attitude that it just sang with comedy. I love him. "Very funny," Beetle mutters, more to Sulu than to Spock. Sulu beams at him, "You try to cross brains with Spock, he'll cut you to pieces every time." That's the first Brown-Nose Attempt Sulu makes in this episode. Don't worry, there are many more.
Kirk's Kwarters. Kirk pulls on his shirt in front of his computer calls the Bridge. "SPOHCK HERE!" Spock English-accents. Kirk ascertains that the cube is giving out no signs of life, and asks that the department heads meet him on the Bridge. "Department heads"? Since when is he Ted Turner? "Already stahnding by," Spock confirms. Kirk leaves. As he goes, the camera pans down to show us exactly how successful the reverse Stairmaster was in ass-tone-age. Not very.
Bridge. Crazy Cameraman is back, and this time he's using a handheld to follow Kirk around. Kirk assesses the situation and learns from Spock that the cube is solid, but they don't know what it's made of. Uhura, in a yellow dress tonight, says that her hails are going nowhere. Beetle and Sulu give Kirk some truly pointless cube information. "Scotty?" Kirk prompts. Yeah, where are all these department heads we heard so much about? It is just Scotty and then Bones, who is leaning over the railing? Scotty doesn't know what makes the thing go. "I'll buy speculation," Kirk tells him. "I'd sell it if I had any," Scotty quips back. As much as these actors may have hated each other in life, onscreen they had real chemistry. Quantum and Co. couldn't find chemistry if Bill Nye The Science Guy stuck all their hands in Bunsen burners. "Life sciences?" Kirk asks. Bones doesn't know anything either. Beetle wants to know if they're just going to let the cube hold them captive. "I vote we blast it!" he adds. Kirk steps into his chair and says, "I'll keep that in mind, Mr. Bailey, [beat] when this becomes a democracy." Beetle heaves his shoulders and turns back to his con. Kirk smiles slightly.