MONDO EXTRAS

Horton Heals a Horta

by Keckler July 13, 2004 11:00 PM

Keckler: Did he just say "By golly"?
The Evil Dr. Mathra: I'm pretty sure he did.

Bones explains that he had one hundred pounds of thermal concrete beamed down from the ship: "You know, it's mostly silicone." I hope he's wrong, because otherwise, that Horta's going to need a new bra. Bones basically spackled the Horta back to health. Kirk tells Spock to meld with the Horta and explain their proposal: "Do you think she'll go for it?" "It seems likely, Captain -- the Horta has a very logical mind. And after close associating with humans, I find that curiously refreshing." The Flute of Spock Makes Another Funny tootles some more as Bones and Kirk exchange shrugging looks.

Enterprise. They're all ready to leave orbit. Vanderberg comms them to announce the birth of thousands of Horta. He says the Horta aren't so bad once you get used to their appearance. Kirk says goodbye to Vanderberg. Spock frowns, "Curious. What Chief Vanderberg said about the Horta is exactly what the mother Horta said to me -- she found humanoid appearance revolting but she thought she could get used to it." "Oh, she did, did she!" Bones snaps. "Well, tell me, did she happen to make a comment about those ears?" Spock thinks for a moment before musing, "Not specifically but I did get the distinct impression she found them the most attractive human characteristic of all. I didn't have the heart to tell her that only I have --" "She really liked those ears?" Kirk asks, all jealous. "Captain," Spock explains patiently, "the Horta is a remarkably intelligent and sensitive creature with impeccable taste." "Because she approved of you," Kirk states. What does that say about me? And the fact that I like his ears so much I want to lick them? "Really, Captain, my modesty --" Spock starts. "Does not bear close examination, Mr. Spock," Kirk finishes, "I suspect you're becoming more and more human all the time." Spock looks offended. "You --" he begins and stops. "Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted!" he says and turns back to his station. The Flute of Spock Makes a Funny got such a workout tonight, it's going to have to stretch before bed. Kirk grins at Bones and orders Enterprise to fly away.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm ordering out for Chinese.

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