Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C | 323 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
One Flew Over the Kirkoo's Nest

From the Bridge, Spock reports that they have to extend their search. Kirk contacts Tantalus Colony to let them know of their progress, and Dr. Adams gets on the horn. "Terribly sorry, Captain, I take all the blame. Let me repeat, he's clever as well as extremely violent. Take all possible precautions," Dr. Adams advises. Kirk says he'll keep them posted. Bones and Kirk jump as a Rent-a-Redshirt enters the Bridge and stands guard. Spock observes to Bones, "Interesting. Your Earth people glorify organized violence for forty centuries, but you imprison those who employ it privately." Gene's on his soapbox again -- I think it's Dove this time. "And of course your people found an answer," Bones sarcasms. "We disposed of emotion, Doctor. Where there is no emotion, there is no motive for violence," Spock comments, sinking into his customary bad posture.

At that precise moment, the Sweaty-Toothed Madman jumps onto the Bridge and gives the Rent-a-Redshirt the TOS patented One-Chop-And-You're-Out smack to the neck. It's like his signature move. The Sweaty-Toothed Madman pants around the Bridge and demands to know who the captain is. "I'm Captain Kirk," Kirk says, the Kirk-Lighting activated over his eyes. The Sweaty-Toothed Madman lurches forward and says, "My name is" -- he grabs at himself in pain -- "Van Gelder. I want asylum." "At gunpoint?" Kirk observes. The Sweaty-Toothed Madman says he wants Kirk's promise first -- his word that he won't take him back to Tantalus. Bones barely looks at Spock as Spock starts to move forward. At the same time, Kirk walks along the edge of the Bridge, drawing the Sweaty-Toothed Madman's attention with him. Kirk walks forward without speaking, and the Sweaty-Toothed Madman looks even more mad. Kirk says he will make no promises, and insists on getting the weapon away from him. The Sweaty-Toothed Madman doesn't particularly like that idea, and sweats a little more. Spock sneaks up behind him. Although it's not really sneaking, because I can hear his shoes tip-tapping on the floor. The Sweaty-Toothed Madman rants that he will sabotage the vessel before he hands over his weapon: "You choose, Captain, I'll disable your control panel." You know, on a ship this size, I'm fairly certain they have other control panels, Mr. Madman. Kirk's eyes flick to Spock. Way to be subtle there. The Sweaty-Toothed Madman whirls to see Spock. Or what should be Spock, I guess, because Spock's already running in the next cut and the Sweaty-Toothed Madman is frozen, looking at where Bones is probably standing and where Spock was standing. It's very bad staging or blocking or whatever the term is. Kirk kicks the gun out of his hand, and Spock pinches him into unconsciousness. Kirk orders the Sweaty-Toothed Madman taken to Sickbay and their course reversed back to Tantalus. He's breathing hard, which is pretty sad when you consider that he didn't do anything other than kick the gun out of the guy's hand. One kick. Shat must be really out of shape to be winded after that minor effort.

Enterprise

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