MONDO EXTRAS

Away Team beams down. Since the set looks like a Texas winter, the members of Away Team rub their arms expressively. Because it's a glacial planet. Scotty scans with the antiquated tape deck Spock used to wear. "Life readings, Mr. Spock?" Scotty looks at him. "Mr. Scott," Kirk corrects himself. This is where I really start to think the crew should be more worried about the location of Kirk's brain. They're on an away mission because SPOCK'S BRAIN IS GONE and yet Kirk's falling into old habits? His memory is that Swiss cheesed? Come ON. I know it's supposed to be touching and everything, but it's really just WEIRD! Scotty reads humanoid life forms around, "On the large side." To illustrate this (I guess), a Sasquatch-type darts around the rocks and spies on them. Kirk says they need to be on their guard. Sasquatch runs away. Chekov reads not much of anything on his scans. Sasquatch joins a bunch of other Sasquatches. Chekov says the temperature is "a high maximum of forty [he shrugs along with me], livable." Kirk tells Chekov's Russian Pride that he has a thick skin. Scotty calls them over because he's getting Sasquatch readings. Kirk orders phasers on stun: "I want them conscious." Doesn't "stun" usually knock people out?

After much creeping on both sides, the Sasquatches finally grow tired of games. They start yelling and throw their Flintstones trademarked clubs at the Away Team. What's truly hysterical is when they toss a few rocks at Kirk, and the rocks literally float by him. Kirk aims his gun -- I forgot that the phasers of this series had that little needle thing in the center -- and everything goes green. One Sasquatch falls, and the others run. Kirk crouches next to Fallen Sasquatch Hidden Shaving Kit and tells him they aren't there to hurt him. Fallen Sasquatch Hidden Shaving Kit tells him, "You. Are. Not. The. Others." Kirk tells him, "No. We came from a far place. We are men." "Men?" Fallen Sasquatch Hidden Shaving Kit asks. "Like yourselves!" Kirk says impatiently. "You are small," Fallen Sasquatch Hidden Shaving Kit notes, "like The Others." Kirk wonders who these Others are. "The Givers of Pain and Delight," Fallen Sasquatch Hidden Shaving Kit rolls his eyes. Kirk wonders where these Glacial Dominatrices are. "They come. They give Pain and Delight," Fallen Sasquatch Hidden Shaving Kit says, holding onto his original argument. "Do they come from the sky?" Kirk demands. What is he talking about? Fallen Sasquatch Hidden Shaving Kit tells him that they are here, and he will see, since The Others will come for them. "Do they come for your women as well?" Kirk asks, clearly thinking inside his pants since I don't see how that question helps them find Spock's brain. Fallen Sasquatch Hidden Shaving Kit doesn't seem to know what "women" are. "The female of your kind," Kirk helps out. Fallen Sasquatch Hidden Shaving Kit shakes his head slowly: "Your words...say nothing." Hee! I've been saying that for YEARS! More along these lines, but getting distinctly more personal, as Scotty and Kirk ask if Fallen Sasquatch Hidden Shaving Kit has sex. Well, they ask if he has a mate, but it's the same thing. Kirk wants to be taken to The Others, but Fallen Sasquatch Hidden Shaving Kit freaks out.