MONDO EXTRAS

Shatner hosts on to say that Gene Coons wrote this script under the pen name of Lee Cronin as a practical joke. Coons was (supposedly) constantly at odds with Roddenberry over the show content and wanted the show to take itself less seriously. "It just goes to show that practical jokes sometimes backfire," Shatner says, pulling at his lower lip.

A scantily clad woman pokes food into a man's mouth. She goes over to another man standing guard and pokes food into his mouth. He smiles at her. The Food Poker joins Solid Gold and another scantily clad woman as Solid Gold obviously acts out Kirk shooting her for the other women. Kirk logs that they have been taken prisoner inside a "highly complex civilization hundreds of meters below the planet of Sigma Draconis VII." Okay, that's just bullshit, because when they were back in the bridge, they clearly named this glacial planet at the SIXTH planet in the system. ["Maybe they're counting its sun(s)? I don't know." -- Sars] We can see Remote Control Spock looking as alert as ever while Kirk, Bones, and Scotty manage to slump on stools. You know, that takes talent. It's easy to slump in chairs with a back but to maintain balance when you're unconscious on stools? That's something special. Deep Purple walks in a diamond-shaped door and takes her place at a table. Why are doors never normal in the future? Is there really something inherently wrong about the way our doors are now that will make them obsolete? And don't tell me it's that these women are aliens because, when it comes down to it, they're not aliens, they're just stupid chicks in boots up to HERE. Or, in other words, Gene Roddenberry's Vision.

Deep Purple cocks her head at the three slumpers. But there's no response. She cocks her head again (I'm writing it out because it's weird, the cocking) and then pushes a button on her watch. BO-I-I-ING!! BO-I-I-ING! And they all wake up. Scotty looks down and grasps at the new hernia belt around his waist. The three make a big show of looking around. Deep Purple wants to know what they are and why they are there. Kirk looks at her in sudden horror. "You have something to speak?" she guesses. Saints preserve us from the "primitive" dialogue! Kirk stands and demands to know what they did with Spock's brain. Deep Purple doesn't know Spock, not even when Kirk points him out and reminds her of what she did on their Bridge. "Ah, yes, brain. You spoke to Luma also of brain, but we do not understand," Deep Purple realizes. Kirk tells her she was on their ship. Deep Purple really doesn't know what he's speaking about. Bones calls Kirk back and says that Deep Purple may really be as dumb as she looks, and he doesn't think she could have performed surgery on Spock. Deep Purple says, "You hurt Luma. It is not permitted to hurt anyone again." Kirk apologizes. Deep Purple tells them they are allowed to go back to their home. Kirk thinks they will stay there to learn about them and tell the FM Boot Brigade about humans. For some reason Bones, Kirk, and Scotty engage in inane conversation about what it's like above. Deep Purple just stares them. I really don't blame her.