What does Kirk need with a toupee?
Inside the hostage compound, the Laughing Vulcan hears the noise outside and asks Cpt. The Bear what in tarnation is going on. Cpt. The Proposal orders the Laughing Vulcan to surrender at "vunce," since he's under attack by superior Federation forces. The Laughing Vulcan gets upset and asks Cpt. Ivanov if he realizes what he's done, then runs out of viewing range, squealing, "It wasn't bloodshed I wanted!" He's under attack by superior forces, and suddenly he's Gandhi. More fighting where Kirk can show off his prowess of slapping a guy to the ground. The Federation fighters manage to actually stun a few rebels with blue light and Star Wars sound effects. A rebel jumps on a horse and charges at Spock, who administers the Vulcan Nerve Pinch to the poor equine and ignores the rider slithering off into the background. Kirk enters the hostages' compound, and I bite my nails to the quick wondering what will happen to him. The tri-dinnered cat-human leaps on Kirk's back, and he has quite the time fighting her off. Finally, he tosses her hissing into what looks like a snooker table full of water. Strangely enough, no cheesy line is forthcoming from Kirk about cats and water. Spock joins Kirk, casting a curious look at the wet cat just before the hostages come out of hiding. But what's this? The three hostages aim their weapons at Kirk and Spock and take their firearms away.
The Enterprise away team walks through a throng of cheering rebels as the Laughing Vulcan says, "Well done, my friends!" But as he catches sight of Spock, his expression changes from triumph to happy wonderment. "Spock!" he says, grabbing the Vulcan's shoulders. Spock frowns and steps back. "Spock, it's me, it's Sybok. After all these years, you've finally caught up with me," the Laughing Vulcan says. "Don't you have anything to say to me?" True to form, but perhaps with a bit of hesitation in his voice, Spock tells him he's violated the Neutral Zone Treaty in seventeen different ways. And true to form, Sybok, the Laughing Vulcan, laughs, and the crowd laughs with him. He tells Spock he's developed a sense of humor, which Spock denies, saying that the violations are serious ones and Sybok must surrender. Sybok tells him he won't surrender, because he's not done violating the treaty, and tells Spock he plans on stealing the Enterprise. Kirk steps forward and says, "You staged all this to get your hands on my ship?" Sybok squints at him: "Who are you?" "James T. Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise," Kirk retorts. Sybok realizes that "Captain" Kashtanka put one over on him. "Very clever, Captain," he says, and turns to Spock, telling him he's been given a "second chance" to join him. Spock informs him of the obvious: "I'm a Starfleet officer." Sybok accepts this and tells him he'll take the ship without Spock's help. The Dust Mite army cheers.