MONDO EXTRAS

Kirk musters a few futile attempts at escape -- the only satisfying bit is seeing him getting shocked by grabbing at some of the ship's innards -- before learning from Spock that this new brig is "escape-proof." Kirk asks Spock how he came by this information (it's his ship, and he doesn't even know this?), so Spock tells him that the brig was tested using "the most intelligent and resourceful person they could find." Drink two for the ubiquitous "pointy ears" joke here from Kirk.

On the bridge, the newly-delivered Chekov barks orders at the crew. Sybok takes a moment to get evangelical on the rest of the crew by way of the ship's intercom. It's only after Sybok tells the crew that he knows the existence of "Shakari" that we go back to the brig and witness Spock saying, "Is it possible that he found Shakari, the reason Sybok left Vulcan?" Sybok goes on, saying that the planet of Shakari lies "beyond the Great Barrier at the center of the galaxy." I guess it makes sense that that's where they'd find the place. I mean, you never hear that Valhalla or Nirvana is in some out-of-the-way corner two shades to the left of something. And of course, like St. Peter or Cerberus, you have to overcome some obstruction in order to get through. I'm so deep. Predictably, Kirk has to whisper, "The center of the galaxy?" in horror, and Spock tells him that's where Shakari is fabled to exist. Kirk tells the rest of us earthbound humans that the center of the galaxy can't be reached, because no ship has gone into the Great Barrier and no probe has ever returned. A muffled scream comes from the couch. Mathra is shredding the edge of a cushion with his teeth. "Do I have to say again how NOT canon this movie is?" he asks our black and white cat. "In his own series, in Star Trek: THE ORIGINAL SERIES, Kirk pilots the Enterprise into something they call the Great Barrier several times, and they clearly say it's located on the rim of the galaxy!" Anyway, Spock makes a passing comment that Sybok was the smartest individual he ever met. Kirk angrily turns on Spock and tells him he only cares about taking back control of the ship (yeah, he's just mad that he found out he's not the smartest man Spock knows), and that either Spock's on his side or he isn't. "I am here, Captain," Spock says obviously. Kirk tells him, "That's a little vague, Spock." And then the tapping begins. Spock says he believes it "is a primitive form of communication known as Morse Code." Kirk draws out the licorice whip of suspense and beats us over the head with it as he spells out "S-T-A-N-D B-A-C-K" laboriously and belatedly as Scotty comes blasting through the wall, screaming, "What're ye standin' arrround forrr -- dunna you know a jail brrreak when you see one?"