MONDO EXTRAS

What does Kirk need with a toupee?

by Keckler October 3, 2001 11:00 PM

A bunch of lighting and stuff rocks the ship as they fly into what looks like a giant blue-and-white sandtable. Chekov can't find any readings beyond the giant sandtable, but they forge ahead. Suddenly, the flashes stop, the mists clear, and they can see a little ice-ball of a planet. Everyone is astounded. Spock says, "Fascinating." Bones asks, "Are we dreaming?" Kirk says, "If we are, then life is a dream," and looks at a mounted steering wheel taken from an 18th century frigate. There's a plaque fixed on it reading, "To boldly go where no man has gone before." Kirk ponders this.

On the bridge, everyone's getting ready to meet their Maker. Some mysterious power source seems to be oozing from the planet, making all their systems come back online after the rough-and-tumble storm. The Magnificent Three enter the bridge, and Kirk looks around and asks Sybok, "About the ship --" Sybok tells him the ship needs him as a captain. "No conditions?" Kirk asks. "No conditions," Sybok says joyfully. Kirk asks Sybok why he thinks he won't turn the ship around and take them back. Sybok says, "Because you too must know." Kirk makes everyone ready to explore the planet. He, Sybok, Spock, and Bones will be the landing party; Kirk tells everyone else to stay on board "until we determine what it is we're dealing with." There's no movement following his orders. "Well, don't just stand there," Kirk says. "God's a busy man."

Near the planet's surface, Spock comments, "I am no longer in control of the craft." Sybok grins at everyone, who look collectively nervous. Kirk starts to pick up a phaser, but in a Yahweh-type move, Sybok lays a hand on his shoulder and shakes his head. "All right," Kirk concedes, putting the phaser back, "we'll play it your way." The shuttle doors open to Shakari, and they're all (including the people aboard the Enterprise, who are watching the whole thing on TV) amazed by the beauty of the planet. Or something. The place is pretty barren and looks suspiciously like Canyonlands to me. Not that Canyonlands isn't pretty, but it's not really the lush sort of terrain you'd envision for Eden. Uhura tries to get Scotty to look at the view, but Scotty's intent on the transporter problem. While everyone else is enthralled by the red rocks and dust, a viewer screen visually reports a Klingon Bird of Prey in their quadrant and the computer's recommendation that the defense systems be activated.

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