What does Kirk need with a toupee?
Abruptly, Bones switches from convivial jocularity to drunken anger as he tells Kirk he nearly gave him a heart attack with his mountain-climbing stunt. Anyone else think Bones has been partaking of the secret ingredient all afternoon? They have some trite talk about life, death, et cetera, and Kirk says he knew he wouldn't die that afternoon because the two of them were with him, and he's always been certain that when he dies, he'll be alone. Bones points out the irony that they spend so much time together as shipmates, but when shore leave comes, they still decide to spend it together. "Other people have families," Bones says by way of explaining the irony to himself. "Other people, Bones, not us," Kirk says, for some reason determined to make himself into this tortured, isolated figure. Spock plays with something that looks like a bunch of rolled-up magazines, and out pops a marshmallow. Apparently, Spock researched camping-out customs and learned that toasting marshmallows is a required activity. "Tell me Spock, what do we do after the marshmallows?" Bones asks, in a voice I found oddly sinister. "We consume them," Spock explains. "I know we consume them, I mean after that," Bones says. What exactly is he driving at? "I believe we are required to engage in a ritual known as the sing-along," Spock says. Just as long as they don't engage in the barbaric male ritual of putting out the campfire, they can sing all they like. They discuss various songs before settling on "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." Well, I guess they couldn't very well sing "If I Had A Hammer" or "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds," since Nimoy and Shatner already covered them on their albums. Kirk and Bones make a hash out of singing it in rounds and then ask why Spock isn't singing. "I was trying to comprehend the meaning of the words," Spock says with furrowed brow. This enrages Bones, and he sputters, "It's a song, you green-blooded Vulcan!" Good one. Ouch. That cut deep. McCoy shouts that the important thing isn't the words but that they have a good time. "Oh, I am sorry, Doctor," Spock says contritely. "Were we having a good time?" "God, I liked him better before he died!" Bones says to Kirk.