Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | 236 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Melded Cheese on Melda Toast

Sim City. Quantum demands to see Dr. Ensign. "Dr. Oratt isn't available," some Vulcan tells him. "Perhaps I can help you." "Perhaps NOT!" Quantum responds. Oh, good one. Quantum steps in the middle of three Vulcans and looks at each of them before he realizes none of them is the Vulcan he's seeking. Just because they all have pointed ears doesn't mean they all look alike! Through some Plexiglass, Quantum spies Dr. Ensign in a room. He pounds on the glass, shouting, "STELLA!" The first Vulcan thinks he's going to have to ask Quantum to leave. "I need to talk to you!" Quantum says, getting Dr. Ensign's attention and ignoring the d'orman. "This is a clear sign that he's bitten off more scenery than he can chew," Mathra decides. Dr. Ensign comes out and asks what he can do for the good captain. "You had no right to take my Science Officer," Quantum bellows. Dr. Ensign disagrees about his rights. "You can't dismiss someone just because you don't agree with how they conduct their personal lives," Quantum says, as an anvil that looks remarkably like Tom Hanks ten years ago asks me if it can have a drink of water. Dr. Ensign informs Quantum that he's not dismissing T'Pol; he's just taking her back to Vulcan so the High Command can dismiss her. Although he calls it "determining whether she's fit for duty." "Fit!" Quantum hisses, no doubt getting spit all over Dr. Ensign's nice white coat. "You're saying a single mind-meld is enough to destroy her career?" Dr. Ensign says nothing, so Quantum extrapolates that it's more that she contracted the disease than the mind-meld. "That's why you're hesitant to find a cure, isn't it? Why bother to help people you don't approve of!" Quantum hypothesizes. Just what are they trying to tell us in this episode? It's so unclear to me. Is it that Trip should just give in and sleep with Pheezil already because alienism is bad? That's it, isn't it? OUCH! Crap, I should know better than to be sarcastic when teething anvils are clustering around me. Where's the Bacitracin? I gotta be careful of homo -- I mean, hydro-phobia.

Enterprise

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