Storm Front, Part I

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | Grade It Now!
Ding Dong, Daniels is Dead!

One Alienazi tells another Alienazi that the Germans believe there are resistance fighters throughout the region who all went out and bought Franklin Planners and are becoming both better organized and highly effective. The gray Alienazi berates the taupe one for not being more careful with Quantum. Camel Taupe piffles that Quantum was "just an American prisoner." Shades of Gray reveals that Quantum's communicator is from the future. Dun-DUN-meh. As Camel Taupe wonders about temporal agents, Shades of Gray orders more men around the compound and notes, "If they have located us, it won't be long before they strike." Camel Taupe promises to recover Quantum.

T'Pol muses over a game of Risk on her computer, and Trip comes in to apologize for his previous un-lover-like conduct. T'Pol forgives and forgets and they both babble about turning their thoughts and bodies toward home. Trip comments, "The Cap'n would allus try to put the best light on the worst situation -- I wunner what he'd say to this wun." "I think he'd be hard pressed to find any positive aspects," T'Pol says. Ah, a familiar feeling for me. Reed enters to give reports of Hoshi's eavesdropping. There have been mentions of battles fought in Virginia and Ohio. Reed continues, "There weren't any battles fought there in World War II -- the Nazis never got to North America." They didn't? Huh, imagine that! And all this time I thought we were under the heel of a ridiculous moustache and fascist dictatorship. "Something's very wrong down there," Reed deduces with a brilliance not often seen in our time.

Sickbay. Phlox shakes a quivering bowl of dark organ meat at an unresponsive Porthos. "It's chicken liver -- your favorite," he wheedles, "with grated cheddar!" Aw, he took the time to grate it? I love Phlox. Quantum would probably just unwrap a hunk of government issue and drop it in a bowl. Hell, he probably wouldn't even bother to unwrap it. Porthos doesn't look up, and Phlox says he'll check to see if Chef has any steaks on the menu. Poor puppy. Quantum's not worth moping over, little bug. Not the way he treated you before he ran off and got himself time-traveled. Before Phlox gets very far, a sweaty-toothed madman flings himself into Sickbay. We can tell from his Michelin couture that it's Daniels. God, I KNEW it! I just knew this whole stupid plot was all his time-fucking fault because he just. Can't. Leave. "Jonathan." ALONE! I knew it I knew it I knew it! Anyway, the dork looks like ass. In fact, it would appear that someone peeled off his skin, melted it over gentle heat, and slapped it back on his body with little regard for symmetry or facial structure. His wild hair and one dead white-blue eye remind me of a short story I read in grade school about the first trip to Mars. It could have been the moon, though, I don't really remember. Anyway, this family is taking space Amtrak to the moon/Mars and everyone is supposed to take a sleeping drug for the duration of the trip. However, the son secretly doesn't take the drug, and when the family wakes up at the end of the trip, the kid has aged about seventy years and has gone insane because of the length of the trip. They carry him away in straitjacket as he screams about the wonders he has seen. It was really creepy and might have been by Bradbury or Dahl -- I wish I could remember -- but the description of the insane kid with his wild hair and eyes is what Daniels looks like. Daniels throws himself into Phlox's arms.

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