Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: F | 285 USERS: C+
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Silik Stalkings

Enterprise. Reed comments that their targeting scanners can't get a lock, and says he'll have to do it the old-fashioned way. And you know he just loves that. Reed announces that a group of aircraft is taking off from a base north of Manhattan and is headed toward them.

It now seems to be midday, and Alicia and Krakko are still fighting the Nazis in the same tiny alley. Quantum steals up to Krakko's side and tells him to call off his dogs. "No way -- I'm having too much fun!" Krakko protests. "In a few seconds this entire area is going to be bombed," Quantum tells him. "Planes?" Krakko anvils, before telling his men to fall back and get the hell outta there. Alicia flatlines her farewells to Quantum. "I want my neighborhood back the way it was. And my husband. I want him home. Fix all that. Okay." Alicia puts me to sleep but not using any sort of punctuation in her delivery. A flock of planes CGIs overhead (hey, the Avians!) before Quantum promises that there will be blue birds over the white cliffs of Dover tomorrow. Just you wait and see.

"German dive-bombers," Reed says on Enterprise. "Schhhtukas. Nothing too much to worry about -- however, they were fitted with sirens to frighten the enemy during an attack." Reed starts to smell the fart as he says, "They're five-seven-point-nine millimeter rounds." T'Pol gets sick of Reed's drool ruining the nap of her velour and calls him back to attention. So, the whole point of that speech was to character-build Reed as a gun- and bomb-loving freak, right? Good thing WE DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THAT THREE SEASONS AGO! Reed still can't see the time machine factory in his range. The schhhtukas whine in and fire at Enterprise in a CGI dogfight that could have been much, much better. Come on, people, we've seen this show present effects and production values that are far superior to this -- why are we satisfied with this sort of pabulum? The schhhtukas actually have some sort of effect on Enterprise as things spark. "It appears that bullets and sirens aren't all they have," T'Pol notes in a strange overdub. "Photonic torpedoes," Quantum announces, stepping onto the Bridge. I assume their scanners must still be down, because otherwise Reed's an idiot for spouting what the schhhtukas were historically equipped with and not even determining what they actually have now.

Enterprise

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