Storm Front, Part II

Episode Report Card
Keckler: F | Grade It Now!
Silik Stalkings

Theorizing that one could constantly pawn off exhausted time travel plots on the public and get away with it, Bermaga shoved Quantum into the Temporal Agent accelerator and he vanished...he woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing historical images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Daniels, a meddler from first season, who appears in the form of a dork that only Quantum can see and hear. And so viewers find themselves leaping from season to season, striving to wank right what once went wrong and hoping each season that the next leap will be the leap from mediocrity.

Boy. What a bad day. Horrible, in fact. We can't find the Not Really Post Road But It's the Best We Can Do Out Here Pumpkin Ale anywhere around us, and I'm going crazy with the autumnal longing for it. Today at the stinky cookbook photo shoot was horrific enough for me to starting to doubt my editorial sense. And since the Evil Dr. Mathra and I haven't been home for several weekends, the laundry and the dust bunnies are holding secret conferences with the bathroom mold as to who gets to eat us first. However, I do want to give huge thanks for all the emails I've gotten in the last few days, which not only told me that the short story I was trying to remember last week was Stephen King's "The Jaunt" from Skeleton Crew, but also gave me huge props and massive compliments for a recap I was pretty convinced sucked as much as the actual episode. You guys made my day.

Ugh. I'm going to get through this episode as quickly as humanly possible, because the sooner we leave this whole Time Foolery crap behind, the sooner my liver can regenerate. We open with a few pandering reels of MovieTone News. When I see it at The Paramount in Oakland, it's cool. When they start off Yet Another Star Trek Time Travel Episode with it, it's a shiny object specifically minted in order to distract us from the fact that it's Yet Another Star Trek Time Travel Episode. Nazis in America and Hitler taking in the sites while forging an alliance with FDR are the headlines they want us to "ooh" and "aah" over. I can't find it particularly chilling, because I giggled over how much Adolf looks like a spastic colon when he punctuates his speeches with a lot of arm thrusts and bouncing of a slicked-down cowlick that doesn't stay slicked down.

I have to admit, I might have had much more respect for this episode if they had changed the opening credits to show Nazi astronauts instead of the stupid newsreel.

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