Storm Front, Part II

Episode Report Card
Keckler: F | Grade It Now!
Silik Stalkings

Enterprise. Reed notes heavy bombing in Eastern Pennsylvania (aw, no more Yuengling brewery!) and Southern Virginia, and updates T'Pol on repairs. Engines are at thirty-six percent, maneuvering thrusters are offline, and their targeting array is "fried." "We'll be shooting in the dark," Reed finishes. And using slang we've never heard anyone but Trip use. Even then, he was referring to his favorite food. It just seems a bit out of character for the veddy proper Brit.

You know what the best thing about drinking pumpkin ale is? Burping pumpkin ale. Your breath is as refreshing as an autumn breeze. I think that should go on the bottle.

Krakko wants to know more about the time machine factory and what kind of weapons Quantum has on his ship. "Do we really need these people," Silik queens. Krakko takes umbrage. "I don't see how they can be of any use to us," Silik continues to bitch to Quantum. "I'll tell yuh how I can be of use to yuh -- how about I start by removing your teeth with my knuckles?" Krakko inquires. "Are you threatening me?" Silik wonders. "Hey, give the man a prize!" Krakko crows. "Why would you do that?" Silik asks, confused. The oh-ha-ha-look-at-the-non-human-taking-stuff-literally was funny when it was Data. Now? Not so much. Quantum and Alicia get the alien and the mobster to back off each other. Alicia informs Krakko that like it or not, they are helping Quantum. She bores me. She may be beautiful but she's got a delivery like a sodden tea bag.

Time Machine Factory. Camel Taupe makes a stirring speech to his Alienazis about reaching their full potential as a species. I've clearly been watching way too much Charmed lately, because when he talks about "vanquishing" their enemies, I immediately imagine a little glass bottle filled with an opaque blue potion. "My brothers," Camel Taupe says, and all the Alienazis do a Half-Hearted Heil with their guns, "we are going home." What the heil? I mean, why would an alien nation do...no, no -- I'm past getting up to care.

Nazis patrol an area that is verboten. An old Packard rams the gates. The Nazis fire. The mobsters fire back and crack jokes. Under cover of the commotion, Silik and Quantum run elsewhere and kill a couple of Nazis. Quantum runs up to a door. "It only opens from the inside," Silik says, before opening a mailbox and morphing through it. We get a really unflattering and strangely long look at his butt morphing as he slides through like an envelope. You know, when this series began I loved the morphing, but now I'm over it. I don't need to see anyone splitting the morphed peaches anymore. Oh, and here's a question: why are his boots able to morph as well? They aren't part of his genetic material, are they? It's like when the Dolt heals a wound and manages to knit up clothing material as well. See? Too much "Drama in the Daytime" with Charmed for me.

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