Strange New World

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
Requiem For A Transporter Beam

Quantum doesn't look as intrigued as I do, but he calls T'Pol anyway on the sick bay wall phone. He tells her they've got Ensign Junk Food. "And I have a phase pistol pointed at my head," she answers. "What?" Quantum says. This is his week to be dim. Trip starts to explain his delicious conspiracy theory, but Quantum, who is speaking into what looks like an apartment front-door buzzer, doesn't know what to make of this turn of events. Quantum explains that they've all been exposed to some really good shit, but that they don't have time to enjoy it. He explains that it comes from a flower. Like honeysuckle. Trip's not buying it. Quantum tells Trip to get as far into the cave as possible to get away from the fungus (or whatever it is) among us. Trip still isn't biting. Quantum reminds Trip that he went through this kind of scenario in Starfleet training. But, just like trigonometry, he didn't think he'd even need that knowledge. Quantum says he'll get the crew when the winds let up. "Put your weapon down, Trip. That's an order." Trip puts it down, reluctantly. T'Pol confirms that the phase pistol has been put away. She admits that she's been affected, but only slightly. Quantum signs off with T'Pol and sends Reed to get a weather report. Reed rushes out in a trail of prissy urgency.

Back on the planet. Random shot of outside weather. In the cave, Trip tries to rouse Mayweather from sleep. We get a shot from Mayweather's point of view of Trip looking all elongated and, well, Trippy. It's like Oliver Stone is directing the episode now. Trip says they have stay up in case the rock people come back. Mayweather is breathing deep, freaking out. He's useless. No help there. Instead of standing guard, Trip starts to lay into T'Pol again, saying that she's sneaky and shadowy, just like the mysterious Rock People. T'Pol hisses out, "Par shinsarat," which means "I'm dating Edward Furlong" in Vulcan. Trip says he doesn't think what she's saying is very nice. It wasn't. Trip starts talking to the walls again, saying that the walls can't trust T'Pol because she'll stab them in the back first chance she gets. What back is he talking about? Trip then starts reasoning with the walls. When that doesn't work, he shoots again, blasting just past T'Pol, who doesn't even flinch. Trip then does see something in the wall and begins talking to it. T'Pol gets up and starts sneaking around. She grabs a phase pistol and points it Trip. Mexican standoff time! She says, silkily, "Mura Fisarh," which means "I am the breakout star of the show. You are my bitch." That, or it's Vulcan for "Mena Suvari." Trip has no smart-ass response for that.

On the Enterprise, Reed has got the Doppler radar going and explains that the weather is still too frightful to send a rescue vessel. It looks like one of those old countertop Pac-Man games they had at Pizza Hut. Reed says it'll be about nine hours before they can get through. Phlox calls Quantum on the wall phone and, in a deep voice totally unlike what he sounds like in person, asks the Captain to come to sick bay immediately. Quantum does a little look 'n' lean and then takes off in a hurry.

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