After Britney asks if we can handle her truth, which...no, we really can't, May-Au-Revoir switches to manual control. "At this speed?" Reed flips. They're out of options. May-Au-Revoir wraps two hands around the joystick and wrestles them in. The CCC hits Mars' arctic wasteland and explodes with magnificent effects. The sh'pod shoots the snow-drenched curl and gets the hell out of the way. "Well, that was fun," Reed groans, "let's never do it again." May-Au-Revoir and Quantum grin because nausea is NEAT!
Trip is tossed into a cell. As soon as he's left alone, oddly chosen '80s Casio-toned music plays while Trip actually MacGyvers the door open using -- I kid you not -- a ballpoint pen from his belt and some spit.
Outside, we get a nice view of a monument with "Carl Sagan Memorial Station" plaqued on it. Next to the monument is the rover Sojourner from the Pathfinder Mission. I guess we can all assume that's the original landing site of the Pathfinder craft back in the late nineties. The whole area is surrounded by a short fence like it's a national monument on the highway that my parents would undoubtedly insist on stopping at in order to videotape my sisters and me reading the plaque aloud while my father pelted us with trivia questions. The sh'pod zips overhead and lands on a ridge. Outside the sh'pod and in their thermal suits, goggles, and oxygen masks, Reed shouts that it's the thirty-second planet he's set foot on. Phlox chuckles and says that Mars makes two hundred forty-eight for him. Reed slumps. Phlox is always the shit. They head for the Frickin' Laser Beam.
Random Task 2 drags T'Pol to see Dr. Evil RoboCreep. "I'm told you had something to say to me," Dr. Evil RoboCreep drawls, doing that rude thing all evil people do of talking without turning around. When T'Pol insists they speak in private, Dr. Evil RoboCreep simps that he keeps no secrets from his men. "You and I both know that's not true," T'Pol says pointedly. Seriously, I'm sure he never told them about the luge lessons, meat helmets, or shaved testicles. Dr. Evil RoboCreep finally turns around and asks Random Task 2 to give them the room. Random Task 2 menaces that he'll be just outside. Once they're alone, T'Pol says, "My daughter's ill. You will arrange for medical care at once." Dr. RoboCreep refuses. "You will provide immediate transport for my child, Commander Tucker, and myself. The hospital at Utopia Colony will be suitable until Enterprise arrives," T'Pol commands him. Dr. Evil RoboCreep smiles and says, "What -- have you been inhaling the atmosphere?" No, just CRACK, but not so much in this episode. Dr. Evil RoboCreep wonders what makes her think she can order everyone around. "This," T'Pol says, grabbing at Dr. Evil RoboCreep's hand and shaking it. What? Oh, I see -- she's not shaking it, it's just shaking. By itself. Okay. I'm up to speed now. T'Pol explains that Dr. Evil RoboCreep has Taggart's Syndrome and is receiving Rigellian gene therapy as treatment for it. Just in case the Hitler's Mother Was a Jew anvil didn't goosestep high enough for us, T'Pol says, "The very thing you're warning humans to avoid is what's keeping you alive -- alien knowledge, freely shared. You're not only a terrorist, you're a hypocrite." Yes, he's a terrocrite. Or hyporist. And it makes him sound like a new beastie in Harry Potter and the Demons of Terra Prime. Pre-order your copy now! You know you did.