Terra Prime (2)

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A | Grade It Now!
Bye, Bye, Trekkie

Mars. Trip stands next to the controls and says, "Looks like Dr. Evil RoboCreep's aim was off." Yeah, thanks, Trip -- we do have eyes. "With...a...little...help...from...you," Quantum pants, and falls into Trip's arms. "Maybe a little," Trip agrees, catching him. They had a moment.

In crew quarters, T'Pol holds Baby Tri'Pol as May-So-Long-Farewell prances in. "She's dying!" T'Pol CRACK WHORES. May-So-Long-Farewell blinks.

Enterprise. Quantum logs that Dr. Evil RoboCreep has been arrested, "but the consequences of his actions continue to affect us all." No, no. See, the consequences don't actually SEEM TO AFFECT YOU AT ALL! You just stand there all Furrow of the Disappeared Emotions and DON'T REACT! Could it have hurt you to just BE HUMAN? JUST THIS ONCE? I mean, it's the END of the FRICKIN' FRANCHISE -- GIVE ME SAM-THING! PLEASE?! Gah. I can't even watch Quantum Leap at home any more. The other day, I was watching "Memphis Melody," and Dr. Mathra, impotent with rage, made me turn it off mid-"Blue Moon of Kentucky," bellowing, "That's not the Bakula we got! We got a furrowing mass of buttmunchitude!" My recaplet-ass-saving husband has a point and he's adorably purple in the face when he makes it.

In Sickbay, T'Pol hangs her IDIC necklace next to Baby Tri'Pol's incubator. She and Trip gaze at the baby. "I guess we shouldn't keep calling her 'she,'" Trip whispers. "Elizabeth," T'Pol says. Awww! Trip looks over in tender surprise: "My sister would have liked that." T'Pol holds his look. Phlox walks in, looking like hell. They look up at him. "It appears my initial prognosis was incorrect," Phlox rasps, "it's genetic. The Vulcan and human DNA aren't compatible." Well, we know that's not going to stay true. "Is there anything you can do?" Trip whispers, fixing his eyes back on the baby. "I'm attempting to stabilize her nucleotides but there's never been a child like her," Phlox says shakily. "Her name's Elizabeth," T'Pol says quietly. Sniff. No, seriously: SNIFF!

Sh'bay. May-The-Big-Goodbye circles the coolly crumpled sh'pod and talks some dreknobabble about why the console locked up when the engines shut down. Finally, with Reed really offering no assistance whatsoever, May-The-Big-Goodbye determines the sh'pod was sabotaged. And we already know by whom because of the STUPID FUCKING UPN PRE-VERT!

Reed and May-The-Big-Goodbye harass Kelpy for a bit before they get out of him that he didn't sabotage the sh'pod; some random red stripe named Masaro did. Kelpy argues that, although he signed the log, he hasn't been on the sh'pod maintenance log team ever since Trip came back from Columbia. Okay, so if he's not on that team, why is his name on the log? Frame-up? Possibly, but they never really make it clear, which is kind of lazy of them.

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