Enterprise
The Aenar (3)

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Keckler: C- | Grade It Now!
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Say Goodnight, Shran
Upon reviewing the previouslies from last week, I find myself really surprised that Quantum winds up with that really fast and fierce blow, yet, in delivery, somehow had the muscle control to make so delicate a cut as to only lop off the tip of a tentacle. Sure. Why not. Clearly, he learned tenacity and power from the tiger. From the white crane, gracefulness. And the dragon teaches him to ride the wind, while the gazelle shows him the way to washed rinds.

While the anorexic Remans -- who have lost every ounce of their street cred along with their body fat -- look on, Val-dor-EE and the evil Romulan Senator Sant'rum talk about Their Mission and how it's about to be cancelled because it's made the Tellarites and Andorians bond for the first time ever, but more because they don't have enough viewers. Val-dor-EE blames everything on the meddling humans and says that the second drone ship is ready. For immediate blowing up by the end of the episode.

An oldy but, in my completely unbiased opinion, also a goody:

Just sit right back and you'll read a snark,
A snark of a cosmic trip
That started from a stellar port
Aboard this new starship.
The mate was a skanky Vulcan chick,
The skipper brash with pride.
The astronauts set warp that day
For a three-hour ride, a three-hour ride.
The Klingon started getting loud,
The Suliban were shrewd,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The mission would be screwed, the mission would be screwed.
No cloak, no shields, no chamber pots,
Not a single phaser store
Like Robinson Crusoe,
As ancient as of yore.
So join us here each week, my pals,
You're sure to shout with glee,
At seven horny space cowboys,
Here on Mighty Big TV!

You'll have to forgive the use of our bygone name -- that was when our hearts were young and vague.

Here's a fun fact to know: "Aenar" is "Arena" scrambled. Did I just blow your mind there? Did I? Not only are they rescrambling TOS episodes, they're also rescrambling TOS episode TITLES!

Quantum logs that the Tellarites went wee-wee-wee all the way home, but Shran McCain is hanging around to help them fight the Marauder. Hold on one damn second; I'm all for Shran hanging around to lend a helping blue hand, but what about the rest of the one hundred twenty-eight ships they worked so hard to gather together last week? I mean, last we saw, they were hot on the tail of the drone ship. What -- they suddenly gave up and went home? They decided that the murdering, marauding, supersonic chameleonic ship just wasn't worth the gas? Because...they'll get it next time it blows up a bunch of their ships? Seriously, what's up with that shit? Oh, and I'm sorry, but in my mind, there's only one marauder in sci-fi-land and it's NOT in Star Trek.

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Enterprise

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