Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: F | 385 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Scent of a Vulcan

Quantum tucks something in his sleeve as the door opens and the Blue and the Grey intrude. "I need to speak with you alone," Quantum tells them quietly. "I have some information for you." In the atrium, Quantum starts babbling about Surak and other nonsense in order to distract them. They get annoyed and start fisticuffing his face again. Quantum, always the tough guy, takes it and manages to move himself over to the Big Rock Face, where he non-slyly throws whatever was in his sleeve into one of the eyes. Once the Hill Street Blues realize the Captain really has nothing of any import to say, ever, they get really irritated. "He's just wasting our time, take him back!" the second in command tells the other two. Quantum's dragged back, complaining that he can't stand another minute with the Vulcans. A Blue Lagoon looks suspiciously around the atrium. In the catacombs, Trip finds a very large stone that rolls after him, threatening to crush him -- wait, wrong plot. Trip finds the little Vulcan chess piece that Quantum tossed into the Big Rock Face.

Back in the room, Quantum's spitting out teeth and blood. Trip comes through the secret passage and tosses the Vulcan chess piece to him. You know, I always wanted to live in a house with secret passages. "Finally, a light at the end of the tunnel," Quantum says, looking at the Vulcan rook. Finally, an episode not riddled with clichés. Ugh, where did I put that sarcasm code? Here it is, under my next case of Post Road. "You know what to do, Commander," Quantum tells Trip, who nods and disappears back into the secret passage. The Vulcan Elder starts lecturing Quantum on how against this action they all are. Um, then why did they bother to help them get this far with it in the first place? Quantum tells them to stay out of the way and all will be well.

Aboard Enterprise, Reed leads an assault party consisting of himself and two Redshirts (can we even call them Redshirts anymore, since they all wear blue jumpsuits now?) to the transporter room. He instructs them to set their phase pistols to "stun." "Stun, sir?" one asks. "The Captain's instructions were quite explicit," Reed tells them. Hoshi approaches the transporter controls timidly. "It's a console, Ensign, it won't bite," Reed tells her wryly from the transporter pad. "No, it'll just scramble your molecules," Hoshi mutters, stepping up to it. One of the Redshirts hangs back. "Crewman?" Reed asks peremptorily. "We've, uh, heard stories, sir," Crewman About To Die says, "It might not be safe." Reed tells him he's heard the same stories: "Now get up here." Not much for boosting confidence, is he? How quickly we forget that he was the one complaining about using the transport for humans in the very first episode. Reed asks if the coordinates are set. Hoshi affirms that they are. "Then energize, before we change our minds," Reed says. Hoshi slides the three levers up, and the assault party sparkles off.

Enterprise

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