The Andorian Incident

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Scent of a Vulcan

"They don't even know we're coming?" Trip asks incredulously as the Disasters Come In Threes enter the shuttle pod docking bay. T'Pol explains that no technology is used on P'Jem, so unless they were hip to using a carrier pigeon garbed in a petite oxygen tank, there's no way of alerting P'Jem to their visit. "I don't like dropping in on people unannounced," Quantum complains. You should have thought of that before you insisted on profaning a temple with your fetid human presence. T'Pol tells him that as long as he and Trip behave, it won't be a problem. "When we arrive we'll be greeted by a Vulcan elder," T'Pol tells them, brushing something off Quantum's shoulder. "You should not speak to him or any member of the Order unless spoken to first. If they appear to be meditating, do not approach them or attempt to make conversation. Also, maintain quiet at all times and do not touch or disturb any artifacts, relics, or ornamentation." Trip and Quantum exchange rueful looks, but T'Pol, seemingly full of yeast this morning, continues anyway, "If we arrive at their time of communal Kolinahr, it's likely we'll be turned away." Captain Quantum fidgets impatiently. "At the conclusion of our visit, we'll be offered the Stone of J'Kah [J'KAAAAAAAHHHHH!] as a gesture of salutation. Accept it. Then bow slightly and observe a respectful silence of approximately five seconds." Hey, Trip? Yeah, if you have difficulty with the whole "respectful" thing, just think of the Stone of J'Kah as if it were one of Bear Bryant's checkered hats. Quantum comments snidely to Trip, "I thought Starfleet training was tough." If you find following a few rules when visiting a holy place "tough," buddy, I fear for you when you do the Klingon ship-to-ship exchange program.

Reedy-Tweedy pipes play as the threesome approaches the front door to the temple. "You say this is a place to purge emotions? Looks like someone had to purge pretty bad. He bashed the door in," Trip comments sexistly. The sooner he's acquainted with how freakishly strong Vulcan women can be, the better for my rage. T'Pol tells him that given the age of the temple, they can't expect it to be in perfect condition. No, but given the logic and intelligence of Vulcans, I would expect her to notice how fresh and unweathered those bash marks are, not to mention the telltale wood splinters on the ground. T'Pol yanks on a thick cord, which results in the obligatory gong. I think it would be really funny if, for once, when you pulled a cord like that, you heard a raspberry. Only in Mel Brooks's world. Sigh. Quantum straightens his shoulders and composes his face in an expression of thoughtful reverence. Either that, or he smells something emanating from Trip. They wait a bit, but since no one immediately runs to fling the doors open wide, Quantum decides to just swagger in.

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