The Catwalk

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
Stormship Troopers

Hullabaloo in the corridors as the qrew packs up their troubles with their sleeping bags and tin cups. A few guys grab EV suits from the EV suit closet. Trip calibrates and routes. As The Timpani And Trumpets Of Working Together boom, unnamed qrew stationed in shafts and corridors pass supplies and duffel bags to each other. T'Pol checks on Phlox in Sickbay and notes from his jumble that he's behind schedule. She asks if he needs help. Phlox bitches about not having enough space allotted to him and his prescriptive pets. "Perhaps some of your creatures could share," T'Pol suggests after sighing pensively. "They'll eat each other!" Phlox protests. Hee! That reminds me of the time I was flying from D.C. to Boston and we were in a long take-off queue. After a bit, the Southern Drawlin' Pilot came on to tell us to "relax and try not to bite the person next to you." Never laughed so hard on a plane in my life. "They're vital to my work and to the health of the crew!" Phlox pleads, not looking T'Pol in the eye. "I'm not accustomed to making emotional appeals -- please, don't ask me to choose between them." T'Pol allows him five more cubic meters. "My Edosian slugs thank you," Phlox tells her, turning away. T'Pol does a double-take as though she's not sure if he's joking or not.

Catwalk. On the catwalk, yeah. Trip guides their alien guests to their cubic meters and tells them he'll be nearby if they need anything. The aliens settle in, and one hisses, "I don't know the first thing about stellar cartography -- what if they begin to ask questions?!" Hmm -- I guess there's more than meets the eye to these aliens, and I'm not just talking about their sensitive ponytails.

Quantum's Ready Room. Quantum packs. He walks over to his Weight Of The World Window and stares out at the lavender streaks -- the harbingers of Plot Device's Feather Boa Af A Natural Phenomenon That Can Travel Faster Than Light. T'Pol joins him at the WOTWW to discuss business. Quantum comments that he didn't expect the storm to be so beautiful, and he's sorry they don't have time to put their lives in danger in order to scan it. How can you see Plot Device's Feather Boa Of A Natural Phenomenon That Can Travel Faster Than Light if it travels faster than light? Anyone have a spare grain of salt I can take? I'm fresh out. T'Pol points out the obvious by telling him that while they're in the belly of the beast, they'll certainly have more than enough time to scan as much as he wants. Quantum confesses that he's jumpy about shutting down the power grid, and T'Pol reminds him of what mayhem could ensue if they don't. Take it from me, it's a lot of mayhem. "I did a little research in the Vulcan database -- that Class Five storm a century ago? It involved the starship T'Plana [Gesundheit!]. Apparently, they couldn't outrun the wavefront, it was lost with all hands," Quantum needles. T'Pol doesn't say anything, and her lips look more than usually huge and glistening in this shot. "I thought you said it was 'nearly destroyed,'" Quantum presses. T'Pol turns to look him in the eye and says she must've remembered incorrectly. "'You lied!' 'I exaggerated,'" Mathra babbles to himself. I think he needs to watch more Pier 1 commercials in order to improve his Kirstie Alley impersonation.

Bridge. T'Pol, Quantum, and Reed route all Bridge functions down to Trip and May-Backlash on The I'm Too Sexy For The Catwalk. "We're in the driver's seat!" Trip announces. Shut up, Trip. "Let's close up shop," Quantum tells Reed. Shut up, Quantum. This storyline might be better than the last few episodes, but the dialogue still sucks the hokey-pokey and that's what it's all about! Lights go out all over the ship, and the emergency power -- and Decon-reminiscent -- blue-light specials come on. Hope Chef didn't have any milk in the fridge. Reed and T'Pol leave the Bridge to allow Quantum to be alone for a moment as he makes a great pretense of silently saying, not goodbye, but au revoir, to his Bridge. Shut UP, Quantum!

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