Enterprise
The Catwalk

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Stormship Troopers

They all have their issues, don't they? Reed has problems with bodily functions, Hoshi is claustrophobic and jumpy, Quantum has a Perma-Furrow, May-Backwash disappears, and Trip has brain damage.

Desert Storm Bridge. Porthos is curled up on a blanket near a pillow. Quantum checks in with May-Backrub and tells him to wake him if there are any issues. Quantum then sighs heavily and lays himself down on the floor. He plays with Porthos a bit before picking up an e-pad with Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on it and starts to read. At least, that's what I want to believe, because I don't face the reality -- namely that the writers HAD to have him watching ANOTHER FRICKIN' WATER POLO MATCH! Didn't they read my last rant about the facets these characters have? In that they don't have ANY? Quantum makes spectator noises, primarily so that T'Pol -- who's near enough to smell him -- can make annoyed faces. I'm with you on this one, sister. Finally, Quantum looks up and asks if he's bothering her. "Only slightly," she responds, beeping away at her e-pad. Quantum turns off his sport and lies down with his hand over his eyes, as T'Pol continues to beep on her e-pad. Sooner or later, she looks over to see Quantum staring at her. "Am I disturbing you?" she asks. "Only slightly," Quantum smiles. Has no one heard of headphones in this century? T'Pol's would look pretty cool, though -- all pointy and stuff.

T'Pol puts her homework away and lies down. Doesn't she want to meditate first? "You know, there's a bright side to all of this," Quantum pillow-talks. "Reaaaally?" T'Pol drawls oddly. Quantum believes it's bringing the qrew closer together: "If you forget about the storm outside, it's almost like going on a camping trip." Sure -- if camping trips were on ships. In space. With warp engines. And not in the great outdoors. "Perhaps we can sing some songs later," T'Pol snarks. Like Row, Row, Row Your Boat? "Haven't you ever gone camping?" Quantum asks. Did her comment about singing give her away, because it seemed right on par with what he was talking about. T'Pol tells him she's been camping "in a manner of speaking." "I once participated in the kahswan ritual. I was taken to the dessert and left to survive for ten days," T'Pol reminisces. "Sounds fun," Quantum sarcasms. What are you passing judgment about, Mr. I Went To Australia With Trip For My Survival Training And Feel The Compelling Need To Have It Mentioned Every Other Episode? Quantum puts on his Overbearing Nightcap as he advises T'Pol to wander around and get to know the rest of the qrew. T'Pol sniffs that she's familiar with all their names, but Quantum thinks she needs to get friendlier than that. "It'd be good for you to fraternize a little," Quantum pushes. "Is that an order?" T'Pol wonders. "Does it have to be?" Quantum shoots back. Can this stop? "I'm not skilled at 'fraternizing,'" T'Pol confides, turning over to face him. Maybe he can tutor you in the art of fraternization. Quantum turns more on his pillow so he can be on a level with T'Pol's eyes. Um, I was kidding with that tutoring comment. "Here's your chance to learn," Quantum tells her. T'Pol turns away.

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Enterprise

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