Enterprise
The Forge (1)

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Enterprise IV: The Trip for T'Pol

They hike at night. The patrol craft fly. Quantum looks up and SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA logically assesses the situation: "They're following a grid search pattern. No sensors but they can still make visual contact. We have to find cover before the sun comes up." So, is this going to be like that episode of Quantum Leap where Sam leaped into Lee Harvey Oswald and kept switching personalities? Because any personality is better than Quantum's usual. Quantum gazes off into the distance and says, "That way." T'Pol looks and says, "There's nothing there." "That's where the Syrrannites are," Quantum says, and keeps walking. I was wrong -- Smug Logical Intellectually Superior Quantum is going to be far more annoying than Smug Illogical Stupid Quantum. "How do you know?" T'Pol calls after him. Just don't tell me he's going to develop an inner eyelid or sudden imperviousness to the heat, because the physical should have nothing to do with SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA. In fact, we know it doesn't, because Bones and his teeny body failed so miserably at trying to Nerve Pinch that dude in the bar that he got locked in a loony bin. They walk. T'Pol offers Quantum water. Quantum shrugs it off: "I'm good for a few more days." What did I JUST get done saying about the physical and the soul? "Captain, you're not Vulcan," T'Pol says, which cracks me up because she's clearly miffed at his high-handed attitude. "Right," Quantum says, and swigs some water. T'Pol realizes it's almost dawn, and says they need to find a place to hide. She makes a move, but Quantum pulls her to a wall of solid rock. He stares at it and says, "No, over here." Because, you know, he has SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA! "That won't help us," T'Pol points out. With a shimmer, Quantum walks through the rock. T'Pol catches sight of the patrol craft and follows. They walk through some hollowed-out caverns that also manage to have Doric pillars. Or maybe they're Corinthian. "Don't resist," Quantum says calmly. "What do you mean?" T'Pol wonders right before some manky-haired Vulcans rush out and restrain them. Shut up, Quantum. And shut up, SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA.

Next week: Quantum is clearly going to give up the Chuckling Vulcan/SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA to T'Pau, which probably explains why she's such a powerful priestess in later years. If they have the actress saying stuff like "vey" and "Wulcan," I am going to be so happy.

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Enterprise

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