The Seventh

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Keckler: B- | Grade It Now!
Seven of Whine

In the sh'pod, T'Pol briefs Quantum by showing him pictures of Bruce Davison as he looks as an Agaron: "The dorsal lobes of his ears were surgically altered. The ridge on his forehead was added sometime afterwards." Like the Klingons. Quantum wants to know why he didn't want to come home, and T'Pol tells him that he was assigned to infiltrate some smugglers. Instead of turning them in, he became one of them and got rich. "Smuggling what?" Quantum asks. "Synthetic bio-toxins, used to manufacture transgenic weapons," T'Pol tells him. So, anthrax? T'Pol tells her Captain that she tracked Menos for three months and always just missed him. Although, once she got pretty close to capturing him on Risa. "They thought they were invulnerable," T'Pol muses. "'They'?" Quantum wonders. "He," T'Pol corrects herself. "He thought he was invulnerable there. That no one would think to look for him in such a peaceful place." Quantum asks what happened. T'Pol tells him intensely that she got close, "very close, twenty metres, maybe ten." Shift to Sepia Tones Of Vulcan Flashback. Zig-zag camera, feet running through some tropical plants, shot of T'Pol with longer hair, heavy breathing. Back to Normal-Color Tones Of Present Day. "T'Pol?" Quantum prompts. T'Pol snaps out of it and tells him she never found him again: "No one did, until now." I wonder how many shows have cut to commercial or to a new scene after the words "until now."

Sh'pod lands in a snowglobe. Dressed up in fur hoodies, the E-Crew enters a cantina full of aliens. Ah, Mos Eisely, it never changes. T'Pol checks her scanner and says, "He's here." Considering that they're the only ones who aren't multi-ridged, aren't they going to stand out like fairly attractive humanoids in an alien bar?

What is up with this new pearly tampon commercial? That visual shot they give, equating the string of a tampon with a string of pearls -- do they even know where that string hangs, and what happens to it when it's there? Yeah, that's appetizing.

Cantina. Quantum pushes his hood back and mutters to May-aprop, "If he sees T'Pol, he may try to get to his ship." May-aprop nods as if this means something, and wanders away. T'Pol and Quantum make their way through the crowd of ETs, looking out for The Fugitive. Quite a few of the aliens look like that dude from Farscape. Catching a glance of Menos's face in a mirror-thing, T'Pol whips around to confront him. It barely registers on his face who she is when an alien barrels between them and tosses them both out of his boozing path. When she recovers herself, T'Pol realizes that she's lost Menos again, and she skitters around, looking. She hitches herself up on the bar and looks around. I don't think she resigned from the Ministry; I think she got fired for lousy observation skills, since we can see Menos hiding under the bar. T'Pol runs over to Quantum and tells him that Menos saw her and bolted. "Which way?" Quantum asks, but T'Pol's not certain, so Quantum, desperate to impress, leaps onto a table and looks around. He whistles at May-aprop, who pushes back his hood and remembers to act alert. From another direction, blue phaser fire zings by Quantum's head. They're probably afraid he's getting ready to dance. The alien barflies start getting riled up. T'Pol and Quantum unsheathe their weapons and crouch around. How stupid was it of Menos to start firing in the first place? It pretty much pinpointed where he was, since Quantum was facing the opposite way when it happened. After some crossfire, Quantum darts right into a very tall alien, who appears desperate to discuss last night's election results with him. "I couldn't agree more," Quantum responds, and edges around him. You know what's going to happen, don't you? He's going to go back to Enterprise and find that alien in his quarters because he just agreed to marry him. Oh, wait, this isn't Firefly. T'Pol and Quantum finally join a group of aliens circling Menos. He's on the floor with May-aprop aiming at him and saying, "Don't move." Go, May-suddenly-crucial-to-the-plot! Quantum squats down and puts the restraints on him. After being jerked to his feet, Menos tells them they have no jurisdiction there. T'Pol looks him in the eye and orders, "Follow me."

Enterprise. Trip's living it up in Quantum's private dining car. He's got water polo on the screen, and he's invited Phlox and Reed to join him. So, after Mucus of Borg, Trip's now a fan of the Speedoed men climbing all over each other? Oh, and way to totally exclude Hoshi, by the way. "Water polo?" Reed questions after Trip's magnanimous welcome. "Very exciting sport -- you should learn more about it," Trip tells him, and entreats them to sit down at the table. "I had Chef prepare a special lunch -- bangers and mash for you [gestures at Reed] and Denobulan sausages for the doctor," Trip announces. He and Reed both have pilsners of beer at their places. Drinking during business hours? Reed primly wonders if the captain would have a problem with Trip using his dining car. "Well -- Acting Captain, Captain's Mess -- I don't see a problem," Trip preens, as Ensign Waiter brings in some plates. They get to their food. Phlox reports that a lymphatic virus has come aboard the ship via the deuterium canisters [Continuity needs to start wearing diapers. He can borrow some from Reed.] and he suggests the crew be inoculated against it. Trip wonders why the bio-scanners didn't pick it up. "Well, it's a very reliable device, but it's not perfect. The inoculation does have some, um, side effects," Phlox continues. Trip asks what the side effects are. "Mmm, headache, nausea, diarrhea, but they would subside in a day or two," Phlox assures him. The sexual dysfunction may last longer. "Do I have your, uh, 'permission'?" Phlox asks, chuckling over the word "permission." Trip looks conflicted and says, "I'd hate to be responsible for giving the crew the runs." I realize you don't want to be known as "the Pewp Captain," but would you rather be responsible for killing off the crew with a deadly disease? I mean, he hasn't even ascertained how serious this virus could be, but I suppose he may prefer the title Captain Black Plague to the alternative. Trip thinks Phlox might wait on the inoculating until Quantum returns. Phlox tells him that the virus would have spread by then; he needs an answer today. Trip's face falls, and he tells Phlox he'll get back to him later. "Not too much later -- hmmm?" Phlox replies.

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