The Seventh

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | Grade It Now!
Seven of Whine

T'Pol runs across the platform, her footfalls lighting up in the dark to confirm the presence of acid. Because Contrivance Acid glows in the dark. What is that dude's belt made of, anyway -- kryptonite? T'Pol runs through the snowglobe, and you know, someone really needs to teach Jolene how not to run like a spaz on heels. As she runs, she has intermittent Sepia Tones Of Vulcan Flashback. More of her wrestling with Vulcan clerics -- or exorcisors. Aboard Menos's ship, she tears the place apart, throwing spent warp injector casings everywhere. Clearly annoyed, she has more Sepia Tones Of Vulcan Flashbacks; we see one of the chasees fall, and Menos screaming out, "Jossen!" as well as more of the Vulcan Exorcism. T'Pol bludgeons a few more spent injector casings and finally slips down next to them, a bit troubled in mind.

Okay, that commercial for Immodium with the woman whose diarrhea suddenly returns in the middle of her spa treatment? What is with the squishy noises she makes when she runs to the loo? I realize she stepped in the cosmetic mud, but still, gross.

Bridge. Trip fiddles with his rank pips and asks Hoshi, "Yer sure?" Hoshi tells him that there is no record of "them" ever having spoken, but she can't be completely certain. Trip asks, "Has he ever been to Earth?" "If he has, the Vulcan database doesn't mention it," Hoshi tells him. "Well, I hope they haven't put Starfleet Yearbook photos into that database," Trip comments. "Okay, let's git this over with." Trip steps over to Quantum's chair and turns to face us so we can see for the first time that he now has four rank pips instead of three. Wonder who sacrificed their rank for him. Trip nods at Hoshi. A Vulcan captain appears on the screen. "Cap'n Tavek, is there somethin' I kin do fer yuh?" Capt. Pewp asks. "Captain Archer?" Tavek asks. "Yes," Capt. Pewp says. Tavek frowns at him. "Is...thereaproblem?" Capt. Pewp stilts out. Tavek thinks Capt. Pewp seems young to be a Captain of Pewp. "Healthy living!" Capt. Pewp reasons. "You...havea...messagefrom...Admiral Forrest?" Tavek frowns again: "I'm not certain what this means, but the Admiral asked me to inform you that [he picks up an e-pad and squints at it] 'Cal beat Stan-ford, seven to three.'" Oh, what-EVER! It was ridiculous enough that Admiral Forrest sent a Vulcan ship to deliver any message to Quantum instead of just comming him, but to send them on an errand as frivolous as that? I think the Admiral drinks. Heavily. I certainly do. Capt. Pewp mutters that he'll be sure to tell him. "Tell who?" Tavek wonders. "Um, I'm afraid it's confidential. Thank you for relaying the message. Archer out," Capt. Pewp rushes. He signals to Hoshi to hang up on the surprised Vulcan. Capt. Pewp slumps heavily in his chair. I thought it was hysterical how Trinneer so obviously attempted to mimic Bakula's wooden way of speaking -- maybe someone IS reading the boards. By the way, why don't they just keep the visual off and tell them they're having technical difficulties instead of going through this charade? Okay, so the charade is funnier, but I still would've appreciated some sort of excuse for their collective brain fart.

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