The Shipment

Episode Report Card
A Horse! A Horse! My Boredom For A Horse!

Number Seven: Watching Washington Week in Review on captions.

Hut. Uh-Oh Hayes polices Mr. Mugato. He won't even let him go into his study. What an ass -- what if he has homework to do? What is he going to tell his teacher -- "My guard ate it"? You know what else is boring about this episode? I mean, besides the whole thing? Uh-Oh Hayes. He's very bland-looking. Where's Daniel Dae Lewis? He's so much more charismatic in looks as well as in manner. Plus, if I see him, I can imagine I'm watching an old episode of Angel, which, regardless of what Strega may say, is a much better show than Enterprise six days a week and fifty million times on Sunday. Quantum arrives and tosses a piece of twisted metal at Mr. Mugato, asking him to explain its existence, since he claims he's not involved in building weapons. Quantum explains that it came from the hull of a ship that killed seven million Earthmites. This is his proof? Considering Mr. Mugato is supposed to take the word of some violent, boring guy holding him hostage that this piece of metal is what he says it is, I don't think Quantum's got a very strong argument. Quantum rants a bit and says he knows they are building a weapon large enough to destroy a planet, and he wants to know where it's being built. Citing my argument above, Mr. Mugato says he has no reason to believe Quantum's accusations that he and his fellow kimosabe refiners are a cog in the wheel of Weapons of Ass Destruction manufacture. And the best part? He says all this while Quantum has him pinned against a wall, a phaser at his throat.

It amuses me that Lifetime considers the Michael Landon documentary legitimate Halloween programming.

Enterprise. Phlox is flattered to be asked to give his expert opinion on the rifle Trip's examining. As he disassembles the weapon, Trip admits that his scans showed the gun has biological components, which is clearly boring a hole into Phlox's field more than his. Taking the top piece off, Trip exposes two worm-like features of the gun. Phlox scans them and says they're generating synaptic impulses. After Trip removes one gummy worm with a pair of tongs -- which Phlox sniffs and determines to be organic, which is kind of "ew" in itself -- another immediately grows in its place. "And it seems to have reproductive capabilities," Phlox concludes.

Hut. Mr. Mugato must have been allowed to run some scans of his own, because he determines that the kimosabe used in the Psycho Bocce Ball is extremely refined and definitely came from their facility. However, he argues that they give out kimosabe to many species -- not just Xindi. "When Degra requested shipments so highly refined, we celebrated. Realizing the wealth it would bring to our colony, we never considered why he wanted such pure kimosabe," Mr. Mugato admits, and then adds that their greed clearly blinded them to the idea that the kimosabe could have weaponry potential. Quantum asks if Degra is a Snake Eyes variety Xindi. "No, he's a Xindi Primate," Mr. Mugato says. Quantum thinks he met a Mr. Man Xindi before. "They're similar to you -- ape-like," Mr. Mugato agrees. Heh. But wait -- if the Mr. Man is considered "ape-like" by a Xindi I've been calling "Monkey Boy," then what is Mr. Mugato? Wolf? Bear? Walrus? Mr. Mugato goes on that Mr. Men Xindi had always been truthful and trustworthy, but perhaps they've now gone the way of the Snake Eyes. Mr. Mugato goes to pour himself a drink as Quantum blathers about five sentient Xindi species evolving on a planet. Mr. Mugato pauses: "Five? Hmm. I guess there are now." He holds up a glass and a bottle in offering to Quantum, who declines. Because he never drinks on the job and is boring.

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