The Xindi

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | Grade It Now!

Enterprise. It's time for androgyny, it's just Pat, so speaking through a radio jockey's mike, Wheezer contacts the ship to blow sunshine up their tailpipe about Quantum being delayed because of some cargo coming in. When T'Pol's Rhapsody in Blue notes that the "cargo ships" are heavily armed, Wheezer says that their product is very valuable and they aren't exactly in Mr. Rogers's Neighborhood Space. T'Pol's Rhapsody in Blue asks to speak to Quantum, but Wheezer tells him that he went to level twenty-two (shout-out to me as that's my magical, lucky, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious number!) to speak to a slave, so he's out of the calling area. Wheezer signs off, and T'Pol tells her crew to keep trying to call Quantum. So the change of uniform color is for what? Maybe it's a mood suit; when she's feeling logical it's orange, and then it turns blue when she's feeling...logical. Reed comments, "Something doesn't smell right." That's just your Old Spice, buddy. T'Pol orders him to come up with a rescue mission in one hour. "Get Major Hayes to help you," T'Pol says as Reed walks out. Reed pauses briefly to cue The Security Chief Has Issues With The Military Complement Theme, and leaves.

Quantum, Trip, and the Nine-Fingered Xindi wade chest-deep through nasty waters. "Sewage takes on a whole new meaning when it comes from a dozen different species," Quantum comments. "Thirty-one to be exact," the Nine-Fingered Xindi says. Still keeping with the pewp jokes, are they? They fiddle around and finally get Trip to kneel chin-deep in the spooge to pull some lever to open a door. The three of them crawl through a plasma duct that, according to the Nine-Fingered Xindi, hasn't been used since he's been there.

T'Pol checks on Reed and Major Hayes. They're all set to launch the rescue, except for one bone of contention. Reed's words, not mine. "The Major here thinks my security team is far too...'valuable' to bring down and put in the line of fire. He wants to take his men," Reed snips. Major Hayes explains, "It's a simple matter of priorities. If those warships get here before we return from the surface, you could find yourselves dealing with a boarding party. You'd be in far better hands with a security force that knows Enterprise inside and out." You know, he's got a point, with one possible exception: if his Uh-Ohs have had nothing to do for the past six weeks, shouldn't they know Enterprise inside and out too by now? Reed argues that his escape plans have his team getting Quantum and Trip back to the ship loooong before the attack cruisers arrive. With all due respect and such, Major Hayes says that they can't be certain of that. Again, the painter's got a point. Still playing her Gershwin, T'Pol steps in to say that the decision is Reed's (aw, that's nice of her!), but she agrees with Hayes that his team might not be back in time. Reed pauses and says, "Select six of your men and meet me in Launch Bay One -- I'll be commanding the mission." Major Hayes nods and leaves. T'Pol watches Reed, who bitterly spouts off that, since he comes from a military family, he's seen "men like Hayes" his whole life. T'Pol questions this. "That had nothing to do with who knows Enteprise inside and out. It had to do with who the Major thinks is more capable of carrying out this rescue!" Reed snarls. Okay, self-confidence issues, party of Reed!

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