The Xindi

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | Grade It Now!

Industrial Planet. Wheezer is told that Quantum and Trip escaped with the Nine-Fingered Xindi, so he orders action taken and breathes into his swing-armed mask again.

There's stuff glowing in Quantum's hair and uniform as he shimmies up the plasma shaft with Trip and the Nine-Fingered Xindi. I want to know what kind of alien craps phosphorescence.

In a sh'pod, Reed and May-I-Won't-Be-Ignored-Dan give the Uh-Ohs some last-minute orders. There's a female Uh-Oh in the back seat.

Industrial Planet. Instead of destroying their valuable sh'pod, Wheezer decides to send a plasma flow through the unused plasma duct to microwave Quantum and his Merry Men.

In the still-plasmaless duct, the Nine-Fingered Xindi wonders about Quantum's business on his homeworld; he asks if Quantum has ever met a Xindi before. "One," Quantum climbs, "and he didn't look very much like you." "Not all of them do," The Nine-Fingered Xindi tells him. "There are five distinct species of Xindi, and five distinct opinions about which one is dominant." Thank you for that plot-furthering information; you can go ahead and die now. There are some noises, and the climbing trio come to the conclusion that some hot and heavy plasma is about to come shooting up the narrow shaft. Quantum makes the command decision that they should climb back down to the maintenance hatch they already passed. The Nine-Fingered Xindi whines that the plasma is coming from down below. Quantum tells him to suit himself as he and Trip go down. "It's too late -- we'll be killed!" The Nine-Fingered Xindi whimpers. "Shut up -- JUST SHUT UP!" Trip yells. Heh. Quantum sees the red plasma boiling below and tells them to "pick up the pace." Instead of climbing, they all slide down. There's a momentary tussle as the Nine-Fingered Xindi tries to wriggle past Trip into the maintenance hatch, getting them both stuck. They both fall into the hatch, which Quantum closes just as the plasma roars past. "You stupid son of a bitch!" Trip yells. "Okay, Holden," The Evil Dr. Mathra comments. Trip threatens to dump the Nine-Fingered Xindi out of the hatch, but stops short of implementing his grand plan as he sees that Wheezer and his men have them cornered. Well, since they were being loud enough to wake the dead, I'm not surprised they got discovered. The Nine-Fingered Xindi whimpers and whines that he was forced to go with Quantum and Trip, but Wheezer knocks him one in the mouth with the butt of his gun.

Back in the mines, Wheezer says he's tired of Quantum, Trip, and the Nine-Fingered Xindi's shenanigans, and would rather have them killed than keep them as troublesome slaves. In the middle of all this, he puts his fingers up to his nose and sniffs. Ew! Why is he smelling his fingers?! At this point, Major Hayes's Uh-Ohs Batman down some ropes and start firing. There's a big fight scene -- a really great fight scene, as a matter of fact -- and the most notable part is that one female Uh-Oh has a long scene taking down one of Wheezer's men. It's a pretty awesome fight and foretells that this Uh-Oh will definitely be having a storyline in the future. Poor Anthony. Reed gives the signal that they can all get out now, and they start evacuating. The Nine-Fingered Xindi -- and I have to say, this cracked me up -- gets up from his hiding place, straightens his vest, and nonchalantly starts to walk out with the rest of the escapees. Quantum throws him back and demands to know what the hell he's doing. "You promised to take me with you," The Nine-Fingered Xindi whines. "That was before your little performance back there," Trip says, training a large gun on him to stop him in his tracks. The Nine-Fingered Xindi begs to be taken away, and promises to give them the coordinates of his homeworld. Trip and Quantum acquiesce.

Outside the mine, more of Wheezer's band fire on them, and the Nine-Fingered Xindi is hit. Green shocks flow all over his body, and he collapses. Reed tells May-At-This-Point-I-Wouldn't-Say-No-To-Battlestar Galactica to lock on to his signal and bring the other sh'pod down. With an awesome new weapon that allows him to see through the darkness and zoom into the sniper's location, an Uh-Oh takes down Wheezer. Trip and Quantum lug the Nine-Fingered Xindi away. Just think how much heavier he'd be if he had all ten of his fingers.

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