These Are The Voyages…

Episode Report Card
admin: D+ | 9 USERS: F
It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to YesterTrek
Wow. I can't believe this is my last Enterprise recap. I feel a bit weird and a little empty.

Since it's the end of a season and it's also the end of a show, I've got a bunch of people who need to stand up and get recognized. Overdue thanks go to Sars, Wing Chun, and Glark for asking me to cover this show. It was huge for me to be the Star Trek recapper, and I was honored by the selection. Plus, Sars? Awesome boss and a boss of an editor. ["The pleasure was all mine, lady." -- Sars] Demian and Couch Baron, I don't know many recappers who actually watch this show, but your input has been invaluable and your recaps have massively inspired me. I also want to thank my adorable posters who have stuck by through thick and thin, furrow by furrow, and who have been a joy to moderate. And the Season 1 DVDs and Mirror Spock action figure are going to entertain me FOR YEARS! You all are adorable. Major thanks to my Friday Night Posse for the wine, the wine, the wine, and the wine. Sometimes we ate. To my TrekThroat, I want to give big and heartfelt props for writing me a few seasons ago and continuing to keep in touch, give me dirt, and come up to San Francisco to hang out. TrekThroat, I want to especially thank you for the piece of Enterprise history you gave me last Sunday. I'm still completely overwhelmed by such a gift. It's in a place of honor in our apartment. We're discussing intricate lighting scenarios for it. Finally, my beloved Dr. Mathra for his rants, his science, his math, and his all around thing-ness. Plus, nice job on my skull repair -- you hardly notice the scars.

Here we go. Are you ready? Good, because I'm not.

This opening scene serves to establish that it is now six years after the last episode and the ship is on its way to Earth to be decommissioned. Hoshi's headed back to Brazil, T'Pol's hair has gotten a bit longer, and Mayweather still can't really act. Reed steps up to a newly placed monitor on the Bridge and whimpers, "Does the Captain have to give a speech?" Seriously. We ALL asked that. T'Pol says Quantum's working on it now. "He hates giving speeches," Mayweather tells us. For one who hates it, he certainly manages to give way too many of them. Or, is this their way of explaining why he's so lousy at them -- because he hates them? Whatever. They all pay lip service to how HUMBLE Quantum is and how he won't want to take CREDIT for whatever it is they're talking about. Hoshi compares Quantum to Cochrane. Shut up, Hoshi. Quantum steps onto the Bridge and asks about Tellarite pronunciation. Reed asks, "How's it going, Captain?" "Whatever I write, it sounds like I'm trying to take credit for it," Quantum says. Did you see what they did there? They TOLD us Quantum wasn't going to want to take credit and then not three seconds later he talks about NOT WANTING TO TAKE CREDIT. SHOW, don't TELL! Losers. T'Pol tells Quantum that Admiral Douglas wants his input on the decommissioning protocols. "One thing at a time," Quantum says, waving his hands around, "after the charter's signed, I'll give him whatever he needs to put Enterprise in mothballs." Geez -- try not to get all emotional about your first starship, Capt. Ice Man Furroweth. I've been watching my bright and shiny Season 1 DVDs, which have some cute and funny gag reels, and the thing is -- I love Bakula in those scenes. He cuts up on purpose, he pulls tricks, and he laughs -- ye gods, he LAUGHS! Why could we have not seen some of that here now that we're at the end? His upper lip's stiffer than Reed's.

I'll let you in on a little secret: Bakula's edged his way into my dreams over the past few nights. Nothing too racy -- some are downright weird and for some reason being rolled into those Disney 50th Birthday celebration commercials -- but they're making me feel very guilty about what I'm going to do in this recap. However, guilt is easily gotten over with a bottle of wine and a case of beer, so I will soldier on. Because the truth must be told.

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