These Are The Voyages…

Episode Report Card
Keckler: D+ | 9 USERS: F
It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to YesterTrek

Situation Room. Shran, T'Pol, and Quantum go over their plan. We learn that the shranappers think Shran stole a Tenebian Amethyst and T'Pol has faked one to pawn off as the real thing. She assures Shran that the shranappers will need a spectral micrometer to be able to tell it's a fake. Quantum furrows something. Troi orders the computer to freeze the program. She walks right under Quantum's nose and we all know what's coming. "He's cuuuuute," Troi drools. Riker tells her not to get any ideas. Yeah, you're with WORF now! It's the furrows she's attracted to, isn't it? Worf...Quantum...I can see it. Troi says she has to go to her appointment or "Reg" will be furious. Awwww, Barclay! I love Barclay. However, I have a really hard time imagining any season of Barclay ever being "furious" with Troi for being late. Fidgety, nervous, blinking, spidery...sure. Not furious. They could have done better with that line. Riker says he's going to stay, and orders Majel to advance them six hours and twenty-two minutes ahead to speed their arrival to Rigel X.

Quantum orders the ship in a stationary orbit and wants an away team put together. Trip bustles up to plead with Quantum not to go on the mission. And this sudden worrywortedness from Trip is coming from where? Oh, right, straight out of Bermaga's flatulent ass. Thanks for reminding me. Quantum brushes Trip off, saying, "Rigel's the first place we visited, remember? Now it's going to be the last. Poetic justice." So among other things, Quantum, Bakula, and BERMAGA DON'T KNOW THE DEFINITION OF POETIC JUSTICE! You should've seen TrekThroat cringe at that line and ask, "Who wrote this?" "Bermaga," I snorted. Eye-rolls all around.

Sh'pod. The Away Team, which includes Riker suited up as an Uh-Oh, go away. To be a team. In a corner of the very small sh'pod, T'Pol trembles to Trip, "Have you gone to see Chef yet?" Trip went first thing that morning. "He talked about you," T'Pol twitches. "Me?" Trip wonders. "US," T'Pol bugs her eyes. Riker listens. Frankly, I'm sure EVERYBODY in the sh'pod can hear this, so I think it's rather an odd time to choose to have this conversation. "What about us?" Trip wonders. T'Pol says it isn't important, but Trip smilingly wants to know why she brought it up. T'Pol seems to struggle with herself a great deal (seriously, has T'Pol just given up on meditating, like, altogether?) before she heaves her dinners and asks, "Do you ever miss me?" Trip catches on. "You know how long it's been?" he rhetorically asks. T'Pol tells him that's not what she asked. Trip says he misses her sometimes. T'Pol keeps struggling with herself -- maybe Jolene had far too much caffeine on set and could actually really do with a big ol' drink now -- and says that she hasn't thought about "those days" in a long time. "Benefit of being a Vulcan," Trip says unsmilingly. "After speaking with Chef I realized that we may never see each other again," T'Pol says. Nothing in her conversation with Chef even alluded to future assignments, so I'm just going to assume that said conversation got her thinking about the decommission and stuff, because it's late, I'm tired, and, well...cancelled! Trip scoffs at her fears. T'Pol starts off saying that they are taking different assignments: "There's no way of knowing --" "There's EVERY way of knowing," Trip interrupts in a tone that is so real and natural, it just breaks my heart. Seriously, Trinneer? What-EVER show you're on. I'm watching. And I'll try not to tell you to shut up too much. Unless it's Numb3ers, in which case, you're on your own. Ah, who are we kidding? I'll watch it -- I just won't let Dr. Mathra know. He's already been through enough these past four years with the science and the non-Bakulaness. We don't need to throw fake math into it as well. Trip tips his head at her and says, "I can guarantee you that we're not going to lose touch." Well, of course they won't -- she'll have his katra. What? Oh, so they can have a Psysick Bond and be all ESPeeing with each other but he can't have a katra? Whatever. Cancelled. Trip adds more gently, "Stop thinking like that." Okay, Trip, I will. I'm sorry. Look at me! Whipped. "However long it may be, I believe I am going to miss you," T'Pol relents. See, because EARLIER Vulcans don't miss people. But now they do.

The Away Team in two sh'pods lands on Rigel X. The shranappers are ugly and mean and threatening. Shran and T'Pol suddenly find themselves surrounded. Can we discuss the fashion here? Shran, the Andorian from the frozen planet of Andoria, who gets excited at sub-zero temperatures, is bundled up in this thick pimp-tastic fur coat, which, unless he's hiding Quantum's furrows, just seems odd considering the following.

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