These Are The Voyages…

Episode Report Card
Keckler: D+ | 9 USERS: F
It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to YesterTrek
T'Pol, a twig-like waif of a Vulcan from the hot planet of Vulcan, is wearing a fairly thin jacket and it's open, which means she's losing a lot of heat from her dinners. However, considering what those dinners are probably made of, maybe she's not losing so much heat. But still -- a fur coat that men wore in the early 1920s only when they went to Princeton football games? Shran, what are you thinking? So, ignoring some snark the shranappers throw their way, T'Pol and Shran insist on seeing the child before they hand over the amethyst. The child -- who seems rather on the green side for having two bluish parents -- is dragged out and shown to Shran. The shranappers have had the kid, what, a week? It was really special of them to keep her hair so nicely brushed and half-up. Shran asks Shranette if she's okay. "I'm hungry," the kid bleats. T'Pol opens the case and shows off the amethyst. Shran sets the case down on the floor and backs off. Shran nods to T'Pol and says, "Let her take the girl." The shranappers agree to this but insist that Shran stay, threatening the kid's life if Shran makes other plans. Shranette runs into her father's arms. Shran looks at his child and tells her to go with T'Pol: "You'll be safe with her. She'll find you something to eat." Is it just me, or does that make it sound like T'Pol's going to hunt something down and kill it for dinner? Shranette stares up at T'Pol and then back at Shran. "Obey your father," Shran says. And this is where I thought Shran was going to die. It would have made sense; he's already presumed dead, and besides, Shran has lived by the sword, so it fits that he would die by the sword. Not that I want him to die, mind you, but dying to get his daughter back is a nicer death than the one they gave Trip.

T'Pol hustles Shranette out of sight. The shranapper scans the amethyst, and we pan up to see where the Away Team is in position on catwalks above. They're in PLAIN SIGHT! How did the shranapper's not -- oh, forget it, because cancelled. Shran dramatically puts his hand up to his eyes. "What are you doing?" a shranapper asks. Trip pushes a button on his Amethyst Remote Control and the amethyst starts popping flashes wildly. Ah, someone's been watching a bit of Rear Window and decided to take the James Stewart approach to get away from these alien Raymond Burrs. Shran takes off in a whirl of green mink and the firefight starts. Lots of shooting and running. The most hysterical part about this scene is that Reed appears to be shooting randomly down a cylindrical shaft (and I really don't think he can actually see anyone), but then he shouts, "Stand still, so I can shoot you!" Okay, so he actually says, "Stand still and you won't be harmed," but we all know that Reed has historically bad aim, and it's also a weird word choice to say "Stand still" instead of "Freeze." Needless to say, the shranappers don't listen to him or his bad aim. Riker, as Uh-Oh, gets in on the action. Dr. Mathra wonders what would have happened if Riker's shot was better or worse than the Uh-Oh he was impersonating. I assume the holodeck has constraints on him that force him to be exactly like the Uh-Oh he's stepped into. More shooting that I don't have to recap. Suddenly, something explodes and the catwalk Trip and Quantum are crouched on gives away. Trip dangles. Quantum reaches down, grabs Trip's butt, and pulls him to safety. I guess we were supposed to get all nervous there and think he was going to die at that moment. But no, it just makes his actual death all the more exciting! Not. "Thanks, boss," Trip pants. "Any time," Quantum pants back.

The Away Team returns to Enterprise. Quantum wants Shran to fly a bit with them because he's more comfortable if Shran is going warp four. Shran admits that his shuttle is slow, but the shranappers can barely go warp two. Quantum convinces Shran to stick with them, and tells him to take his daughter to Phlox for a look-see. "Whatever you say," Shran says, lifting Shranette into his arms. "Thanks, pink-skin," the child prates. She really is greenish. Trip walks with Quantum and makes some comment about Quantum getting sick of saving his life. Yes, and that will be the last time, Trip. Sniff. Quantum's glad he didn't take Trip's advice about staying on the ship. Trip's glad too, but notes that Quantum almost got himself killed down there: "That wouldn't have gone over too big at the ceremony." Quantum responds, "Signing documents are easy, training a new engineer? That can be a real pain in the ass." As can you, my man. As can you. I don't like this new mother hen of a Trip they're trying to force on us. It's unnatural and sketchy and just not right. No wonder Trinneer was pissed. Riker observes.

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